Crazy Paintballing In Tokai

It was a painfully hot Sunday morning when we embarked to Tokai, to partake in the rather manly tradition of running around a forest playing Gun Gun. We had often spoken of the desire to shoot large chunks out of one another, but it wasn’t until The Gupster showed the required initiative to phone and book a morning session, that it came to pass. And so it came to pass.

Myself, Bazza The Barry, DC and Steve O joined 25 other associates for a morning of tactical war games, capturing of flags and the general release of male testosterone. As everyone gathered for the initial briefing, tension clearly filled the air. “You can cut the tension here with a knife” commented The Gupster, using his trusty pocket knife to lop a piece off, thus proving his point. By this time the sun was really baking, causing Steve O to literally melt. DC, mistaking him for a cup of lime energade, began gulping him down, before someone pointed out his folly and he was forced to cough him back up again.

We were divided into teams and handed our weapons. As I watched Bazza The Barry - who had clearly used a gun before - firing off deadly accurate practice rounds, I began wondering aloud if this was really such a good idea after all.

“Is this really such a good idea after all?” I wondered aloud to DC, one of my team-mates, who also seemed slightly uneasy. (I had earlier seen him weeping behind a nearby bush) My thoughts were interrupted though as the games began and everyone went running around in a blind state of panic.

The first game involved us trying to capture a blue flag, as we were the green team. Showing my strong leadership abilities, I quickly took charge, barking out orders and dividing the team into smaller tactical groups. Disappointingly, no one seemed to listen, as my ingenious plan of building an underground tunnel to the Blue base clearly went unheeded. No surprisingly then, we lost - the game ending for me in a hail of bullets from Bazza The Barry, who had now officially become my nemesis.

General concern centred around Sergio though, who had been felled by a testicle shot (courtesy of ace Muslim sharpshooter Oesman) and may have now lost the ability to procreate. (UPDATE: He’s since had it checked out. He has made a full recovery)

The second game involved us trying to defend the green flag, as we were the blue team. Showing my strong leadership abilities, I quickly took charge, barking out orders and dividing the team into smaller tactical groups. This time, my advice on defensive manoeuvres (everyone sitting together behind thick covering and pray) was followed to the letter. Not surprisingly then, we won - although the game ended for me in a hail of bullets from Steve O, who had now officially become my nemesis.

The third and deciding game turned into a real thriller as we hunted down the blue team. Last man standing was Steve O, who we eventually found hiding in a nearby ditch. It was left to DC and myself to “execute” him, thus winning the game, and we prolonged things a little by shooting at his feet, making him dance. He is such a good dancer though, and after watching him for a few minutes, everyone started jiving and so we decided to let him live.

For more info on paintballing in Cape Town, see - http://www.actionpaintball.co.za

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