Shaun Gets Very Excited

A Scene From The Movie “300″

Attending a catholic primary school in the early 90′s, I quickly learnt that violence is the best way to solve any problem. 
 

“Diplomacy is for Devil Worshippers and Communists”, bellowed old Sister Mary Clarence, an old bird incredibly intollerant toward devil worshipers and communists, and so many debates would be settled on the hallowed tarred playgrounds of one of Jesus’s holy schools. 

I was lead to recall these heady days as I watched 300 with The Girlfriend the other day. 
 

Let me make this very clear – 300 is an awesome movie. My mouth was literally watering as I watched this at the cinema. The Girlfriend eventually had to help me put my bib on, that’s how much this film made me drool.
 

It’s essentially a comic book or graphic novel film, like a Batman or Superman Returns, except that it’s infinitely better. The basic plot revolves around 300 Spartans who come from a place called Sparta. They are left to defend their lands from horrible, evil Persians, who try and take over with their trickery and dishonest ways. This all stems because the Spartan king is a total badass, and refuses to get down on his knees for a smug Persian messenger, deciding instead to kick him down a large black hole. This obviously pisses off the Persian ruler, as the messenger was a mate of his and a good drinking partner. And so the film kicks into gear, with audacious battle scenes, tough guy one-liners and a little bit of gratuitous nudity. 

Think MTV meets Troy, and you will get the idea of what this film is about – epic style-cinema filmed in a backdrop of sharp CGI and banging rock music. (The 300 DVD will probably kick ass as well. In fact, yes, I am totally buying the DVD of this film.)
 

Another strong point of this film is the lack of real A-list movie stars, which in this case is a blessing because having someone like Tom Cruise in a loin cloth as the fearless Spartan king would have killed this movie. The cast members chosen are all really buff, which made me feel a little inadequte as a man, forcing The Girlfriend to reassure me that I was just as ripped as the Spartans were.

I’m not going to give away any more of this plot. Go and see 300. Do it now, you will thank me for it.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.