As Shaun Sings The Tuesday Blues

Blue: The Way Shaun Is Feeling Right Now.

‘I’m so over Facebook right now. To my knowledge there is nothing worse than getting a Friend Request rejected on Facebook.

I’ve lost limbs in wars, had the sh*t kicked out of me by girls younger than I, and continually support the Stormers rugby team in the Super 14, but nothing compares to the humiliation of a Facebook Rejection.

Why haven’t you accepted my Friend request? I used to share my lunch with you at college. Yes, that’s right – look sheepish now, I’m glad you’re feeling bad.

And as for YOU, we’re related for God’s sake! I spoke to you last weekend at your mom’s birthday. I named two of my kids after you. Do you know how inconvenient it is having two kids with the same name?

Let me tell you, it’s f**king inconvenient.

I’m messing with those kids’ minds – their impressionable, evolving little minds. But I did it anyway, because I thought we were good friends.

And this is how you repay me? I curse you, I curse you and especially curse you over there – don’t think I can’t see you cowering behind your cublicle.

Yes, I spelt it “cublicle” – that’s how angry I am.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.