As Shaun Sings The Tuesday Blues

‘I’m so over Facebook right now. To my knowledge there is nothing worse than getting a Friend Request rejected on Facebook.

I’ve lost limbs in wars, had the sh*t kicked out of me by girls younger than I, and continually support the Stormers rugby team in the Super 14, but nothing compares to the humiliation of a Facebook Rejection.

Why haven’t you accepted my Friend request? I used to share my lunch with you at college. Yes, that’s right – look sheepish now, I’m glad you’re feeling bad.

And as for YOU, we’re related for God’s sake! I spoke to you last weekend at your mom’s birthday. I named two of my kids after you. Do you know how inconvenient it is having two kids with the same name?

Let me tell you, it’s f**king inconvenient.

I’m messing with those kids’ minds – their impressionable, evolving little minds. But I did it anyway, because I thought we were good friends.

And this is how you repay me? I curse you, I curse you and especially curse you over there – don’t think I can’t see you cowering behind your cublicle.

Yes, I spelt it “cublicle” – that’s how angry I am.

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