Confusion Reigns As Shaun Expects Another Braveheart.

Where Is Mel Gibson, And Why Are They Wearing Pants?

It was movie time again, and I was excitedly looking forward to watching Spiderman 3, having put the poster up in the bedroom at The HQ for months beforehand. The Girlfriend though, was not up for it and lobbied for an alternative flick, so we settled the argument in the age old tradition - with a fearsome game of “Ching Chong Cha” (Paper Rock Scissors).

Sadly for me, The Girlfriend happens to be an incredibly gifted player, having made the regional finals for 6 years running.

She easily defeated me, leaving her with the enviable position of Grand Movie Chooser. She duly chose “The King Of Scotland“, starring Forrest Whittaker as the king of Scotland, who went by the name of Idi Amin. Although Scottish, Idi was black and so had to put up with a lot of shit from racist British forces who wanted a white guy to rule. Idi slowly started losing his mind, killing and maiming anyone who pissed him off, even people he didn’t really know, but didn’t like the look of all the same.

The movie plays out like a thriller, shown through the eyes of a young Scottish doctor, who is Amin’s friend at first but slowly realises that he would be better off far far away, especially after humping Idi’s wife. (Incidently, he also gets to make out with Scully from the X-Files. Yes, she is also in the movie. As a blonde)

The film was quite gory at times, one scene in particular which literally caused my eyeballs to pop out, leading me to blindly search for them in the dark for a few minutes, and causing me to miss some of the plot. All in all I found it rather engaging though, much better than the shockingly mediocre Babel, although obviously not as heart-pumpingly spectacular as 300.

I would compare this movie to a Kentucky Fried Chicken rounder. You go there to have a bite to eat, more or less knowing what to expect and just going through the motions. Then your taste buds hits the Colonel’s secret sauce and you realise that you are actually quit fond of KFC and wonder why you haven’t been in ages.

…I’m not saying that I’d watch the movie again, but…. actually I’m having a KFC burger at the moment and just felt compelled to include it in there somewhere. I haven’t had KFC in ages and I forgot how good it can be. I’ve literally got a boner right now from the Colonel’s secret sauce, that’s how good it is. You’re reading something written by a guy who currently has a massive erection. How special do you feel right now?

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