February 20, 2008
As He Finally Comes Of Age
On Sunday The Gupster turned 24, and so in response everyone gathered at Tiger Tiger in Claremont on the Saturday night to get him blindingly drunk – in an attempt to make him puke and wet himself – as this is what good friends do to one another. The Gupster is made of sterner stuff though and manfully fought off all attempts to humiliate him, despite our best efforts.
Well done The Gupster, if anyone deserves to turn 24, it’s you. Although suitably pissed, The Gupster was thankfully not inebriated enough to fall for The Horrible Beer Goggle Girl, who spent most of the night harassing drunk white boys. By my count, she ended up hooking up with four in total, which coincidently also happens to be the number of wrinkles under each one of her eyes. She was old. Really old. She had a walking stick with a hook at the end, which she used to pull people toward her.
After kissing her, one gentleman realised what he had done and started sobbing uncontrollably on the dance floor, before attempting to hurl himself over the outside railing into the street below. The railing is abnormally high though, so he didn’t quite make it, his knee catching cold steel causing him to sob uncontrollably again.
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