Especially When The Arsehole Can Speak.

Because here’s what happens, you’re standing in the queue, waiting to pay for your groceries. In front of you is a morbidly obese woman with an admittedly cute kid clinging to her massive tree trunk of a leg.

You’re in a reasonably happy mood as The Girlfriend let you feel her up that morning, and you didn’t even have to give her a sensual foot rub in return. So you smile and wink at the little kid in a friendly manner, as he is a quite an adorable little chap, despite the fact that his mother has an arse the size of a small Eastern European country, and he will probably resemble her in a few years time.

He then looks at you with his big cartoon-like eyes, and proceeds to shout out the following line which is no doubt heard throughout the store:

“Mom, that man just winked at me. Is he a Gay?”

Instead of being embarrassed by his homophobic slur, the woman looks at you with disgust, before asking you to confirm if you did in fact just do that.

You then notice that the everyone behind you seems to be sizing you up now, and before you know it, a seemingly innocent act has suddenly become very, very awkward.

Which is why you should never smile at a kid.

They are evil little shits.

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