Have A Good One

Shit, the heading is all wrong, but my “Delete” button just refuses to work today. I think it’s on a strike or something. I don’t really know if Patrick Swayze is dead, I can’t really back that up. I could have sworn I saw something flashing across my television screen late last night though, but I can’t find anything on the “internet” so I may have just imagined that. I do know that Bernie Mac is dead though, for what it’s worth. Ja, no he died a few weeks ago.

Anyhoo, my heart is racing, and I am shaking a little bit, after having an amazing epiphany.

I realised today tha- what?

What did you say?

No… no, an epiphany is NOT a pill, you are thinking of Ecstasy, you illiterate f**k. Remind me to get you a dictionary or a Thesaurus for your birthday.

Anyhoo, I had an epiphany (a moment of clarity) today, whilst having a beer for breakfast. As many of you may know, I recently acquired quite a bit of free time, which I found in my basket one morning whilst shopping at the local Woolies. I’ve been racking my brain since then trying to figure out what I will be doing to pass the time, and then it hit me this morning. I shall exercise.

Now, I have flirted with this whole thing before, but now I’m pretty motivated to do things properly. I’ve taken a pic of what we are currently looking like, and will now post regular shots every few weeks or so to map my progress.

Shaun - The Before Shot.

Feel free to send me messages of encouragement and motivation. The writer of the best message will receive a free bottle of my perspiration, which is a pretty impressive prize. As everyone knows, I sweat greatness, and piss excellence, which I usually then sell at the organic Neighbourhood Market at the Old Biscuit Mill in Woodstock, so you can save at least five hundred rarnt, by getting it all for free.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.