And His Name Is Kgalema Motlanthe

Kgalema Motlanthe - The New Prez

Jesus Hernandez, I think it’s fair to say that I HAVE been living under a rock these last few days, a period which saw former president Thabo Mbeki resigning, and now South Africa’s new president, Kgalema Motlanthe, sworn in.

Motlanthe is a pretty well respected guy, and should help stabilise the country and build bridges after the whole f**k show we’ve just had.

Pity about his name though.

Some white people are really going to battle to pronounce it, having just about managed to get their tongue around “President Mabeki” and “Zooomer”

Oh well.

What Do You Think?

So clearly I’ve been under a rock these last few days, as this completely flew by me. Apparently we now have an official mascot for the Fifa 2010 Soccer World Cup.

His name is Zakumi and he is a leopard with green hair, overly large feet, and a slightly creepy grin on his face.

Zakumi - Would You Trust Him Alone With Your Kids?

I suppose in the greater scheme of things he doesn’t look too bad. I had a horrible fear that our mascot would be some sort of hybrid “Big Five” creature, with the South African national flag somehow etched over him in some sort of multi-coloured safari suit. But no, thankfully this never happened.

Check him out at his official unveiling in the video below. Also, pay special attention to Phil Masinga, who decides that “F**k it, I’m not just going to stand here and get interviewed, I’m going to do a little dance too.”:

So apparently Zakumi means “Come To Me” in one of our official languages, which is a clever little fact to throw at people when there is a lull at the dinner party.

In the upcoming months we will be bombarded with his images in media and various merchandise, which I’m not entirely comfortable with. Maybe I’m really tired right now, but he just seems to give off a bit of a “child molester” vibe.

Am I off the mark here?

Gets A Brand Spanking New Boob Job

A Surgeon, About To Operate.

As you would have noticed, I’ve been rather quiet of late, like a young child quietly repainting your expensive lounge suite whilst you were passed out on the bedroom floor after a heavy night out, oblivious to the fact that you would then be babysitting him the following day, as his mother has a bit of a drug problem and needed to “get away” for a few days.

So yeah, we have given the old bird (shaunoakes.com) a bit of a facelift, nipping here, tucking there, and generally making it look twenty years younger.

It’s obviously quite a process, and there may be one or two glitches, so just bare with me, and enjoy the ride.

Not Impressed With Their Service

So I’ve been in the process of getting an ADSL line set up at The HQ.

Jesus, what a circus this has been.

From initially just getting the phone line set up, to now actually getting the router. The latest obstacle in my life right now, is being kindly provided by a delivery and courier company called Skynet, which Mweb seems to be using to deliver their routers to their customers.

This is basically how the show has panned out up till this point:

Thursday 18 September: Received an sms from Mweb telling me that Skynet is going to deliver my router, and that I should contact them. Phone Skynet and they say that it will be delivered between 8am-1pm on Friday. The broad and rather vague time frame annoys me a little bit, but I’m keen to sort everything out now so agree to stay at home on Friday in anticipation of my delivery. “So the router will DEFINITELY arrive on Friday?” I ask wearily. “No, it will certainly arrive,” says the other voice on the line, reassuringly.

Friday 19 September: The f**king router never arrives.

Monday 22 September: [Morning] Phone Skynet and politely enquire as to where my f**king router is. I am told that the driver couldn’t find The HQ, assumed the residential address was incorrect, and so returned to the office. The thought of perhaps phoning me to clarify things or even to let me know about this situation didn’t seem to apply here. Nevertheless, the guy on the line tells me that the driver will come back to the office upon completion of his deliveries for the day, and will then proceed to bring me my router. I should sit tight in the meanwhile.

Monday 22 September: [Afternoon] It’s after 2pm now and I’m starting to get tetchy. Phone Skynet again to try and find out where the f**k the driver is. I am then informed that they can’t get hold of the driver, because they aren’t able to make any outgoing calls, they don’t know where he is and so they can’t tell me now if I will be able to get my router today after all.

Incredible.

I’ve since laid a complaint with Mweb, but that’s still two days of my life that I will never get back. Perhaps I should have rather had all of this set up by Telkom after all.

Mweb, do you really think it’s a good idea to be doing business with a company like Skynet? After this experience, one may be tempted to say that Skynet are pretty incompetent?

Would that be fair?

For Buffet Dining In Cape Town

It was a cold and windy Thursday, and I had just completed a long and busy day. The Girlfriend, sensing my fatigue, eventually decided to climb off my face and suggested we eat something.

“What do you feel like eating?” I murmured, as I looked around frantically for my dentures. We were in the mood for something both substantial and tasty, perhaps a buffet of some kind.

“Perhaps a buffet of some kind?” I mentioned authoritively, as I could read The Girlfriend’s mind and she WAS in fact, in the mood for a buffet.

So it came to pass then, that we found ourselves at The Fountains Hotel Restaurant in the city centre.

Fountains Hotel Restaurant

The Fountains Hotel is situated near the Foreshore (close to the Absa building) and, as the name suggests, IS in fact, a hotel. What you may not know about it, is that it also offers a lively and diverse buffet menu in the restaurant, where people can walk in off the street, and then proceed to feast and dine like they did in medieval times.

The restaurant is tastefully decorated, and surprisingly spacious, able to easily host 150 people plus. When you arrive, a waitor will seat you at the table and briefly tell you what’s on offer. Because it’s a hotel, and taking into account the various clientele, the restaurant tries to cater for all tastes, and thus a diverse menu awaits.

Initially we enjoyed a Greek-style first course of various breads, dips, cheeses and olives. It was whilst going up for seconds that I noticed some fish soup, eyeing me seductively on the table to my right. Naturally I obliged and headed on over to try that out as well.

For the main course we were again spoilt for choice, with various meat dishes batting their eyelids at us in a flirtatious manner. These consisted of lamb curries, beef stews, seared chicken breasts as well as prawns, all accompanied by a large contingent of vegetable dishes such as butternut, pumpkin, noodle salads etc etc.

If that wasn’t enough, the dessert menu also succeeded in getting us hot and randy. They offer something like 10 or 11 different desserts, from decadent cheese cakes, to simple vanilla ice cream.

All in all, we had a substantial three course meal, in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere, which ended up coming to the not very princely sum of R150 per person, almost unheard of in Cape Town. The service was pretty jacked up as well, and ensured that our table was never filled with dirty plates or glasses.

The Fountains Hotel Restaurant is thus an awesome spot for a Sunday afternoon buffet lunch with the family, or if you’re just in the mood for a wholesome three course meal during the week. It’s certainly incredibly affordable, in comparison to other Cape Town eateries.

In addition, they have a trendy bar where you can mingle after work, offering all cocktails for only R20. I couldn’t quite believe that but I checked it out and this is in fact, the case. All cocktails for R20, and they will also make anything you ask, so it’s already on my list for top five after work hangout spots in Cape Town.

Parking is available in the adjacent Riebeek street, and the restaurant stays open till about 11pm, so be sure to make a turn there.

Shaun definitely recommends.

What: Fountains Hotel Restaurant (www.fountainshotel.co.za)
Where: 1 St Georges Mall, Cape Town. (Near the circles at the Foreshore, nearby the one with the fountains)
How Much: + - 150 per person.

Contact: +27 21 443 1100