I’m Noticing A Trend Here

Why is it that whenever I need to rush out and buy a bulk pack of toilet paper at the Gardens Centre, I ALWAYS end up bumping into the same hot girl I know, outside the nearby coffee shop?

Everytime.

And It’s not even the luxurious two ply or the ultra decadent three ply toilet paper either. No, it’s when I’m feeling the pinch and buying the government issue one ply – the one that’s slightly grey in colour and suspiciously already smells of poo.

And it’s always RIGHT ON TOP of all the groceries in my trolley, despite my constant pleading with the packers to conceal it under the humus and Eisbein.

I never see her when I’m buying my expensive cologne, my tailored suits or my weekly batch of extra large condoms.

It’s only when I buy my cheap toilet paper.

And that’s sad.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.