It’s Just Not Worth It.

It’s Friday afternoon and you’re sitting in the lecture hall silently urging time to go by.

You happen to look up from the pair of boobs you are drawing, and notice the hot chick from your class trying to catch your attention from 30 feet away. You’ve never really spoken, but you always harboured a suspicion that she wanted to touch your penis, and now feel rather vindicated by her actions.

She is trying to tell you about a party later in the evening, and your heart races as you begin running through the various underpants you could wear that night. You eventually settle on the burgundy-coloured briefs (your favourite, and the ones which make your balls look huge) as you continue to converse with her.

You’re not sure what she is saying, but she is laughing at the faces you’re pulling, so you’re laughing right back, and the banter carries on for the next ten minutes.

It is only whilst trying to find out what time she wants to be picked up, that you happen to turn around, and realise that she has in fact, been communicating with the pretty boy rugby jock the whole time. The. Whole. Time.

Which is why you should never communicate with someone from across a large room.

95% of the time, you end up looking like a massive chop.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.