Not That We Need It…

If you’re anything like me, you should of course be able to make love for at least 5 hours at a time – maybe 3 hours if you’re feeling tired or stressed out – as stress can often lower the male libido. If however, you struggle to “go the distance” as they say in Ethiopia, you may be interested in Durex’s new advertising campaign, which may or may not be slightly offensive to ugly people, depending on which side of the ugly fence you’re sitting on.

I am presently sitting rather comfortably ON the fence, and thus have no real opinion on the matter.

Durex - Last Longer.

Oh. Look What They've Done.

Can You See What They're Doing?

Very Clever. I Like That.

Nice one, Durex. See what they did? They are saying that you just need to look at the ugly images on the pillow, and that will make you last longer. Not to be pedantic about the whole thing, but I dunno, the body can be conditioned to certain things very quickly. When I was younger I used to get by through reciting the square roots of integers and finite numbers, with the result that I quickly became a Professor in Mathematics, and thus got beaten up by the other professors as I was only 16 at the time.

Using this pillow vibe may eventually condition your body to develop massive erections whenever you see a vagrant in the street.

I’m just saying.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.