Housemate Wanted In The Suburbs

Are you tired of having to have sex in your car because the noise will wake up mom and dad? Tired of your mom shaking her head in disappointment as you stagger in at 6am, after a stellar bender at Tiger Tiger followed by a food orgy at Barcelo’s in Ladies Mile?

Well fear not, a solution is now at hand.

Nash, cult leader and creator of Bangers and Nash, is looking for a new housemate. I had a look at the place today and it’s a pretty impressive pad, in fact, were I not shacking up with The Girlfriend, I may well have been tempted to send through an application myself. Here’s what you need to know about the place:

• Location – Southern Suburbs (Peddlars is within spitting distance)
• Spacious room (with built-in-cupboards), easy to navigate house, and garden (that is quite safe to tan naked in)
• Pool
• Gym
• Internet “lounge”
• Laundry
• Full time security and a secure parking bay.
• Also ADSL and DSTV in the house.

I KNOW, it sounds like a hotel, how great is that? Applications are coming through thick and fast, so best be getting onto this pronto. Drop him an email at nash@bangersandnash.com for more info, or pay a visit over here.

Obviously no weirdos need apply, but if you’re a decent shit, then go ahead and drop him a line.

Aaand we’re out.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.