January 13, 2009
Not AS Shit As People Said It Was
James Bond: Wearing too tight pants. Not cool.
The Girlfriend wanted to do something romantic the other night, so I decided to take her to Canal Walk to watch Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond flick. Once she eventually came to terms with the fact that dinner that night would comprise of Panarotti’s pizza and a glass of orange Fanta, she released her grip on my scrotum, and we settled down for the movie.
Quantum of Solace apparently picks up straight after where Casino Royale ended. Unfortunately I missed the ending of that film, as I had borrowed someone’s car that day, and needed to return it before he noticed it was missing from his car dealership. (long story)
So anyhoo, I was shocked to find out that the chick Bond was tapping in the first movie, Vesper Lynd, had died mysteriously at the hands of a, well, mysterious and no doubt evil agency. The gist of the movie comprises agent 007 trying to find out who exactly was responsible, and kill them for the inconvenience they caused him, as I suspected he wanted one more go with Vesper before ditching her.
The movie will no doubt please all James Bond fans, with the standard car chases, explosions and the now obligatory topless scene with Daniel Craig for the ladies.
Strangely enough, James Bond doesn’t get to sleep with the sidekick chick who tails him in this movie, although she could easily be the hottest Bond girl for the last 10 years. I forget the name now, but she is a Russian who looks like she could snap your neck with her killer thighs. She really is a stunner, probably the sexiest character since Famke Jansen and her killer legs. (Mmm, who else just got a semi thinking about that? No? Okay, moving on then.)
Many people have said that this movie was pretty pants, without elaborating on why. Sure, it wasn’t as character driven as Casino Royale, but it wasn’t as special effects laden as some of the past James Bond films either, with the invisible car and that sort of ridiculous poppycock that Pierce Brosnan had to put up with.
All in all, the film was a pretty decent effort for what it was – an entertaining cinematic action romp. The movie also serves as a setup for future battles with a group of baddies called Quantum (which is briefly mentioned at the end, it’s just a throwaway line in the movie, so don’t start bitching about me giving away spoilers or anything.) Don’t be shy to check out Quantum of Solace when you have a chance.
Quantum of Solace scores a Steve-O rating of 3.5.
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lame lame lame villian, with a super lame scream (while wielding and axe) and an even lamer sidekick(that dude with the pot haircut)..
Hmm, I don’t know. I may be alone in thinking this, but to me Danial Craig looks like some sort of goblin.
He’s ok in the abs area of course, but he has a tiny head, with funny goblin ears and a weird expression range.
They should have gone with Clive Owen, he would have rocked the Bond role bigtime.
@Craig,
Actually… you’re right, the villains were a bit of a letdown, especially the rather fey sidekick. (is he the bloke in the Coke Zero advert by the way? The one who hooks up with the saucy blonde?)
@Rox,
He does have goblin-like features come to think of it. I think it’s the chiseled abs that gets women’s hearts fluttering.
haha Daniel Craig would make a good Elf in Lord of the Rings.
According to wikipedia, Taubman(the evil sidekick) opted for the “bowl cut”.
What a “nob” head.
But ye, decent action.. no doubt about that
I liked the movie, but it did lacked it’s Bondness… no gadgets, no Q, no sex – he’s Bond, seriously… the panties should just drop.
It was like watching a Jason Bourne movie without Bourne having lost his memory.