Deal With It.

So the other day at a dinner party I gatecrashed, I found myself making an offensive joke involving Catholics, plastic surgeons and the number 13. Although incredibly crass and politically incorrect, I was fairly confident of raising a laugh, especially after what I felt was a rather poor attempt at a Julius Malema impression by the host, which somehow brought the house down.

It was with great sadness then, that my punchline of “That’s not a carrot, that’s my wife” was met with a period of long silence, the type you usually experience when your dog has just died, your wife has left you, or you’ve just spilled your beer in bed.

After what felt like an eternity, someone eventually piped up and said what sounded like, “Lemayo”, and the table again erupted to hilarious cackles. Apparently I had made a boring joke, and this was the ironic response to it. (Lemayo – LMAO. Get it?)

The guy was rather smug about his little retort, and quite clearly thought he was being clever. He changed his mind once my knee decided to befriend his throat though, although again, the rest of the party didn’t seem to find this as amusing as I did.

“Wait a minute, who the f**k IS this guy?” someone piped up, and eventually we all realised that no one really knew who I was, or what I was doing there. Christ, I didn’t know either, I was lead to believe that this was meant to be a Saturday braai, and was rather curious as to why I didn’t recognise anyone.

As it turns out, I was indeed at the wrong house, and everyone there was too shit-faced to really notice that I was not wearing a dinner suit. (I was wearing a tatty Springbok jersey with old curry and vomit stains)

Nevertheless, I learnt a new word that day, and now you do too.

Lemayo - For Those Boring Joke Makers.

So next time someone makes a lame joke, just nod slowly, give a polite cough and say – “Wow dude. Lemayo.”

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.