Yeah, I said it.

I was standing in the mean streets of Cape Town the other day, trying to persuade a bespectacled youth not to mug me. He seemed pretty keen though, and I was beginning to accept the fact that I would need to give him my wallet, cellphone and the jeans I was wearing.

I was pretty adamant that I wouldn’t give him my undies though, as it would be quite a walk to The HQ, and the weather was beginning to get a little nippy. He seemed pretty mean-spirited though, so I began mentally preparing myself for some tense negotiations.

Just then, in the middle of his threat about stabbing me with a screwdriver, he let out an involuntary burp, which hit me with all the force of a mighty wooden ship.

The aroma was an interesting one, something I was reasonably familiar with, but which had me slightly puzzled at the same time. I couldn’t be sure, but it smelt like… like…

“Urgh, vagina burp.” he said meekly, thus confirming my suspicions.

It seemed that my new friend had been rather adventurous earlier that morning, and had over indulged with his lady friend. An awkward silence followed, with the guy clearly feeling a little uncomfortable with the whole scenario now.

Eventually, I summoned up the courage to offer him an Orbit (Professional White) chewing gum, and we then decided to go our separate ways – me running home with my tail between my legs, he to mug a Varsity College student instead.

So yeah, that was a pretty interesting vibe. Anyone else ever experience that?

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.

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