April 3, 2009
When You Think You’ve Been A Good Boy.
Her: So you’ve been really good this week.
You: I have, haven’t I? I even cleaned the toilet bowl after using it the other day.
Her: I noticed. Only two pubic hairs on the seat. Very impressive.
You: Thanks, I’ve really been trying.
Her: I can see. As a reward, I’m going to let you do that thing to me.
You: That thing?
Her: You know, that thing you like doing. With your big toe and the silicon spatula?
You: Are you being serious? You said I was a sick puppy the last time I tried to talk you into it. You said you were going to tell my mom.
Her: Well, I think you deserve a treat. Quickly though, before I change my mind.
[You dash off to the kitchen to get the spatula, and drench your thighs and forearms in low fat Bulgarian yoghurt.]
You: Well, are you ready?
Her: Oh, I’ve changed my mind.
You: You can’t change your mind now. I’ve just drenched my thighs and forearm in low fat Bulgarian yoghurt.
Her: April fools.
You: But… it’s the 3rd April?
Her: Ja, but it falls on the 3rd this year.
[You slink off to go and shower, washing off the yoghurt, but not before using the toilet and leaving 3 strands of hair on the seat though. And not flushing. ]
Moral of the story: If you don’t clean up after yourself when using the toilet, you’re unlikely to receive sexual favours from your lover. Especially the ones you’re slightly shy to talk about.
