Shaun Is Disturbed By Dr Manhattan’s Blue Winky.

Dr Manhattan From The Watchmen. Naked.

It had been a while since we had a decent movie review. Sure, we tried watching Slumdog Millionaire the other day, but had to switch off the pirated DVD, after The Girlfriend took a disliking to the scene where they burn that cute laaitie’s eyes out.

There were no cute little Indian kids in Watchmen, so I was fairly confident we could sit through it without any discomfort. What I didn’t make provision for however, was the presence of Dr Manhattan, and his blue winky which kept being shoved in my face.

Guys, was this really necessary? Couldn't he just wear some underpants?

For those not familiar with the film, Dr Manhattan is created when the scientist Jon Osterman get’s caught in a dangerous molecular experiment, it destroys him into millions of particles, and he is then reformed as Dr Manhattan, a bald, blue, muscular guy with supernatural powers, who INSISTS on walking around naked.

On top of the slightly unnecessary male nudity, the movie itself was pretty, well, “meh”. It’s not your typical super hero flick, let’s put it that way. Not your typical popcorn entertainment extravaganza, the film is about 2hrs 40 minutes long, and it’s mostly drippy dialogue. Sure, there are one or two awesome fight scenes, and a memorable sex scene with that chick from Harold and Kumar – you know the one, Freakshow’s wife? – yeah that one.

I don’t know, I left the cinema feeling that it could have been a LOT better. In case you’re not up to speed, this is based on a critically celebrated graphic novel, about a group of regular joes who were once “superheroes” but have since been banned from doing this in public – it’s a bit like The Incredibles actually, except it’s obviously more adult orientated.

I’m not going to harp on about the plot lines, themes etc. On a basically superficial level, I went in expecting a special effects laden blockbuster. I didn’t get that, which is fine, but then the earlier trailers shouldn’t have made it seem as if it was.

Watchmen scores a Steve-O rating of 2.5.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.