Or Maybe It’s Just A Bad Cold.

It’s a cold, Wintry Monday evening, and instead of finding myself nestled warmly between The Girlfriend’s firm thighs, I am instead lying in the guest bedroom, drinking Med Lemon and trying to remember where in the room my extensive collection of German pornography can be found.

Med Lemon can quite easily be the vilest drink known to man, and it seems to be pretty useless. Apparently, it’s supposed to help you “sweat” out the cold, but thus far all it’s done is given me indigestion, and severely burned my tongue. “Don’t wait for it cool down. Down it.” urged The Girlfriend, as she forced the only-recently-boiled water down my throat.

Thankfully, the swelling in my mouth has since subsided, and my vision has returned after blacking out for a while, but I’m still feeling a little run down right now.

This could be connected to the whole “Swine Flu” vibe everyone has been talking about lately. I take it everyone has heard about Swine Flu by now, right? The nerdy-but-surprisingly-hot newsreader chick on E-TV this evening claimed that 1000 people have already been infected. Was that in the Western Cape? Or the world? I was knocking back a stiff Jameson at the time so I can’t really be too sure.

Let’s just go with the hysterical route and say it’s a thousand infections in the Western Cape.

In any event, after this ridiculously long intro, I can now share with you some humorous “Swine Flu” pics and cartoons that have recently been circulating around the “internet”.

Middle East humour.

Digging the Winnie the Poo vibe.

How Swine Flu is spread. Allegedly.

Let’s chat again later, once I blew all this shit out my nose.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.