May 6, 2009
Mmm, Not So Sure About This One.
Wolverine - Enjoying A Lovely Hot Bath.
I had been looking forward to watching Wolverine for months now and, after satisfying The Girlfriend for the fourth time on Sunday, she eventually decided that we could go and watch it. 110 minutes later, (give or take 10 minutes on the road, with an additional 5 minutes of heavy petting in the car park) I walked out the cinema feeling a little underwhelmed.
Before I get into that though, let’s take a look at the trailer:
Wolverine is a decent enough film, with lots of special effects, explosions, and passable action scenes. A few things really annoyed me however, things which I will know share with you in bullet point fashion:
- Cliched scenes - The slow motion, expressionless walk away from an explosion is SO 1995. Seriously, couldn’t you think of something smarter than that? Also, looking up to the sky and screaming when someone dies is a bit of a copout when you need to do an emotional scene. Even worse, this happened twice in the movie. Twice.
- Too much Wolverine - The movie is 110 minutes long, and Wolverine is in about 105 of them. There were no discernible sub plots, we basically spent the entire movie watching Wolverine extract his revenge.
- That Bathroom Scene - By and large the special effects were okay, but there is ONE scene where Wolverine is in someone’s bathroom. Have a look at it, and tell me that the special effects didn’t look a little kak. Let’s just say that someone was being very naughty during editing, and didn’t notice that Logan’s claws looked like cartoon animation.
If this movie was a chick, it would undoubtedly be Nicky Hilton. Sure, she is reasonably hot, and you will probably enjoy 110 minutes in her company, but would you really take her over Paris?
Exactly.
Nicky Hilton - The chick equivalent of Wolverine.
All in all it’s a mild to average film, which could have been a whole lot better. The plot is one dimensional, some of the acting is a little mediocre at best, and there are a bunch of characters needlessly thrown into the mix, who don’t offer anything of substance, besides giving comic geeks some hefty erections. (ie: the inclusion of Gambit and Deadpool in the movie)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine, scores a Steve-O rating of 3.
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Yip.
My five cents’ worth (being a fanatical sci-fi/fantasy supporter/comic geek(?)):
* Wolverine’s retrograde ageing (btw, is he like, sumfin’ or nuffin’, immortal?)
* Lack of mind-blowing, lifting-off-your-seat, making you wanna HAVE those “powers”. I really missed Storm, Nightcrawler, Magneto, Jean Grey and especially Mystique! I remember walking around in a blue catsuit with scarlet hair and yellow contact lenses, pretending to morph into all kinds of people.
* Granted, there was more for the eye (this time for the girls/queers).
* I think the movie was too big for Gavin Hood - people waited 3 years for this.
It wasn’t BAD though - just kind of insipid.
7/10, but only for the New Zealand scenery & nudity.
I haven’t read one good review about this movie. All of them say, “aahh, ummm, yeah it is so,so…”
Ok, I do have to agree with you on the clichéd bits. Besides the two incidents of screaming ‘at the moon’ he woke up screaming in the bed in the exact same way, just at a diff angle.
I also picked up on the bathroom scene - shocking.
If we absolutely must pick it apart…are the claws not supposed to hurt like hell when they come out? I’m sure I remember something being said about this in one of the X-men movies?
Finally, weapon XI….come now. He used maybe four out of his 10 powers. What were the others? Stamp collecting and crochet?
BUT besides all that I LOVED the movie. I basically wanted to be Wolverine as a kid so I may be a bit bias but he rocks.
I’ll watch it again.