They Just Don’t.

Andy Samberg and Will Ferrel singing about how cool guys don’t look at explosions, they just walk away in slow motion.

It’s much harder than it looks though. I tried walking away from an exploding car a few years ago, and ended up with my back on fire. I was buzzing at the time though, so didn’t really feel it, until I arrived at this club in town, hit the dancefloor, and then everyone was like, “Shaun, man, you’re on fire.” I was like, “Yeah, I know, it’s a new dance move I have perfected. I call it the Funky Chipmunk.” And then they were like, “No dude, you are literally on fire!”

True story.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.