You Haven’t Watched It Yet? Do It Now.

Spock and James T Kirk: Wat kyk jy? (What you looking at?)

So, after watching Wolverine recently and feeling a little, well, meh, we decided to go and see the new Star Trek movie, which we had mentioned a while back when we were all still friends. They had been pushing Star Trek pretty hard these last few months and, although certainly not a die hard Trekkie fan, I was eagerly looking forward to seeing it, they way a young man might look forward to having sex with an attractive older woman, who has a husband who is always up in Johannesburg on business, and who longs for young, firm flesh.

And so, with all my chores out the way, The Girlfriend agreed to give me an advance in my allowance money, and off we went to go and see the flick.

As mentioned, I’m not overtly familiar with all the previous movies, the numerous spin-off series’ and the various comic books which make up the Star Trek universe. I was just hoping to be entertained with a solid story, get taken in by some action and special effects, and catch a glimpse of the chick who plays Uhura’s boobies.

… I just reread that last bit. Just to clarify, there wasn’t a chick playing the ROLE of Uhura’s breasts. What I meant was, I wanted to catch a glimpse of the boobies of the actress PLAYING Uhura. (I had a crush on her ever since her role in “Guess Who“, alongside Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac, who is dead now.)

So, what did I think of Star Trek?

• Gripping story - Check. It wasn’t your usual special effect-laden movie with a paper thin plot. The story was engaging, and kept our attention throughout. It was also fairly well paced, with no lulls where you find yourself wondering whether The Girlfriend will put out later that evening if you take her for dinner.
• Action and special effects - Check. It’s 2009, so the special effects in comparison to previous Star Trek movies is cranked way up. The ship looks awesome, the space battle looked authentic, and the action scenes left me sitting there with just a hint of a semi, which is all you’re asking for from an action scene at the end of the day.
• Glimpse of breasts - Sadly, this was not forthcoming, although there was a decent enough scene with this green alien which briefly left me pondering whether I would sleep with a green chick. (I’m in the “maybe after a few beers” camp)

All in all, we were pretty blown away by the film. It’s not just aimed at your die-hard Star Trek fan, but for the mainstream audience who don’t know shit about the whole backstory. (It basically starts from right at the beginning, before James T Kirt becomes the captain of the Starship Enterprise, where he is just a bit of a dick trying to get by).

Seriously, I’m not going to go over the plot details or any shit like that. If you’re looking for a good time, and you don’t mind watching space ships and lasers go off, then go and see Star Trek, you will be pleasantly surprised

If that doesn’t sway you, be sure to check out the latest trailer for the movie. (I couldn’t embed it here, because YouTube were being dicks about it)

Star Trek scores a Steve-O rating of 4.

Oakes signing off.

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