Any Thoughts?

So I decided to go jogging yesterday evening which, if you are familiar with the weather we had in Cape Town on Monday, proved to be a simply marvelous idea, right up there with other great ideas I have had in the past, including getting circumsized at the ripe old age of 19, or trying to claim a prize I won through timeshare.

Besides the fact that I was literally soaked, and will most likely die of pneumonia within the next few days, I also managed to pull every sinew of muscle situated in my legs, which left me walking around The Office today in a peculiar manner, as if a warm banana had been firmly inserted between my thighs. (Not that I’m totally against that mind you, but there is a time and a place, and today was not that place)

So why am I putting myself through this torture, you may ask? Well, we are slowly waddling towards Summer now - Monday’s weather notwithstanding - and it’s time to shed my Winter Weight, which is a layer of fat I traditionally store around the period of April - November to keep me warm during Cape Town’s blistering cold Winter months.

Instead of exercise, I usually just pop a few of these exercise pills called Phedra Cut, which literally eats away at my fat although, admittedly plenty of my muscle too.

Shaun's Magic Weight Control Pills

However, this year I’m looking for something a little more organic, something a little easier on the liver. So, are there any quick and easy weight loss methods out there? I’m not really keen on the whole road running vibe, but anything else I would be willing to give a try.

I’m specifically trying to lose weight around my derriere and thighs, as I put on weight the way a woman does and so am currently blessed with bulky hips and thighs, like a potato, or a large pear.

Shaun: Just Chilling In A White Room.

Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated. The cheque is in the post.

Oakes signing off.

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