A Friday Night Discovery.

A New Discovery - But What Is It Exactly?

So I found myself at Neighbourhood in Long Street on Friday night having a piss in the urinals.

Now just to be clear, I wasn’t at Neighbourhood just to take a piss in their urinals - granted, they do have great urinals, and perhaps there are some people who would frequent the place just so they could use these urinals. I however, am not one of those people, and was instead there for some wine, some women and just a little bit of song.

It was after enjoying a steady amount of said wine, that I found myself unleashing a yellow wave of awesomeness in the toilets.

“Mmm, what is this?” I murmured thoughtfully, as I looked down toward where I was dropping off the kids.

“I believe it’s your penis, and what a beautiful penis it is,” said the bearded man alongside me. This didn’t surprise me however, as he had in fact been staring at my penis in an inappropriate manner since I took it out, like a grizzled horse trainer marveling at the arrival of an exciting young steed.

“No, I am not referring to my beautiful penis, but rather the strange, luminous coloured and strongly scented urinal cake” I said cautiously, trying to steer the conversation away from my genitalia.

The urinal cakes were in fact luminous coloured, and they certainly were strongly scented. My one had a firm musky smell, like a hairy man who has just done a light jog in the street on a balmy Summer’s day. Not sweaty mind you, but a sweet musk which some women find alluring. It beats the traditional urinal cakes which smells of soap mixed with urine. These new things seem to cause a chemical reaction when coming into contact with human wee, and gives off a lovely, fresh aroma.

So why am I writing about this? I am not really sure, this intrigued me and I thought it may intrigue you too. We are always learning over here, and today is no exception. These things are apparently known as “Pmats” and they are quickly becoming all the rage. Here with some snippets from their website:

Nice. I especially like the fact that it reduces splash back, I hate the splash back, more so when it’s not your own.

That is all.

Oakes signing off.

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