Seriously? How Do You F**k Up Like That?

Labia Theatre In Kloof Street: Poo Service

It was a Saturday and, to celebrate it, The Girlfriend and I decided to go and watch a movie. Seeing as it was a Saturday, and I tend to resent any human contact with other people, we chose to avoid the masses at Cavendish Square in Claremont, and instead go to one of the Labia theatres in the city. We chose the Labia Theatre in Kloof Street, and moonwalked our way over there.

The movie was due to play at 11:30am, we rocked up at 11:20 and found that the ticket box was empty. This was slightly odd, but we stuck around, and asked the chick who was mopping the floor what was going on.

“What the f**k is going on here?” I enquired politely, and discovered that the chick who was meant to be manning the ticket stand had just not pitched up yet, and should be in shortly. “The movie is due to start in ten minutes. This is very odd behaviour indeed” I said to myself, using my inner monologue. “Nevertheless, I will console myself with an ice cold Hansa Marzen Gold, as it’s now 11:25, and you are allowed to drink beer before 12pm when you are wearing camel shorts,” I continued. It was then, that I noticed that the food and drink stand was also left unattended. Upon further interrogation of the chick with the mop, it was brought to our attention that the guy who usually does this had car problems and would not be pitching that day.

So there we were, standing around with some other patrons in bemusement, as we were unable to get tickets and booze for a movie which was due to start in 5 mins.

Eventually someone arrived without apology and managed to set off the alarm, as she forgot to de-activate it. She then informed us that the machine was not working, and we would need to deal in cash only.

Upon getting tickets, we also realised that we would not be able to have any popcorn or drinks as the popcorn machine had not been turned on, and she didn’t know how much anything in the food and drink stand cost. It was at this point that I took the number of Ann, the supposed manager of the Labia, and tried to call her. Naturally, she didn’t answer her phone, but I did leave her a message, explaining the situation to her. Naturally, she has yet to call me back or even acknowledge what happened. (This all went down about 2 weeks ago now)

So to end off a long-winded rant, the key issues to take into account here are the following:

Seriously? Is that how you want to run your business? Are we really playing this game now?

The movie itself was pretty good, we will chat about that later, but the experience of watching a film at the Labia in Kloof Street was pathetic to say the least. Sort your shit out, Labia management.

Oakes signing off.

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