A Midweek Rant

SABC3: Giving Shaun the middle finger.

Now, I don’t have DSTV (digital satellite television in South Africa), partly because I’m slightly poor, but mostly because I’m quite cheap. Thus, I have to put up with the likes of SABC and E-TV, the free terrestrial channels we have.

This wasn’t really an issue before, and I can actually remember a time when I didn’t really mind SABC 3. Sure, they may have had strange continuity presenters with ugly hands, but at least the shows were not complete rubbish. They were usually old shows from MNET that I hadn’t seen for a couple of years, and could watch nostalgically. Sometimes they even had shows that MNET managed to miss out on. As I said, pretty decent stuff, and enough to get by on during an otherwise dull Wednesday evening.

Which is why I was very disappointed this past Wednesday, to switch over to SABC 3 and find a rather patronizing show called “Cory in the House”, which is very obviously a kids show.

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SABC 3, why do you insult your viewers’ intelligence by showing children’s sitcoms during prime time viewing? Do you think I will find this funny? If I was 10 maybe, and had problems stringing sentences together. But otherwise no, no I don’t find this entertaining at all.

And it’s not as if you can say that this is a time slot meant for kids either. You were showing “Two and a Half Men” there not too long ago, and that was pretty saucy for a kid to watch. Also, you show the décor and lifestyle show “Top Billing” at 19:30 on Thursdays, so that argument doesn’t hold any water.

The only explanation is that you somehow think that this is the type of show that South African adults would enjoy. Really?

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, you go and throw in Everwood later that night as well.

Everwood!

The most depressing show in the history of mankind! Just what exactly is the point of Everwood? As far as I can tell, its’ about a doctor and his beard, and the various trials and tribulations he puts his kids through, because he left the city and moved them into the hell hole small town of Everwood.

Whenever I hear the theme song, I have the urge to hurl myself through the lounge window, falling four floors below, and probably breaking most of the bones in my body. That would be a more pleasant experience that having to sit through an entire episode of Everwood.

And yet, you keep putting it on the air? I swear this show comes on about four times a week, almost always when you are in the mood for some comedy, action or just something that will show off some boobs. But no, instead, I have to watch Ephraim bawl his eyes out as he finds out that the chick he was in love with who then skipped town years earlier, was actually pregnant with his child, and his dad knew all about it.

Damn you SABC 3, for putting me through this hell. It’s this sort of performance that makes me glad I don’t pay you any television license fees.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.