August 23, 2010
And How Not To.
So if you are familiar with the night club scene, you will of course all realise how difficult it is to effectively communicate with someone. It’s simply impossible to have a normal conversation with your friend on the dance floor, as the music is loud enough to loosen the wax in your ears.
So what do you do?
Well usually, you would go up to someone, and scream in their ear. The correct way to do this with a female is of course to approach her from the direction she is coming from (ie: stand and face the direction that she is facing, whilst screaming in her ear). This allows you to communicate with her – by screaming in her ear – as well as giving you the opportunity to look down her blouse. I actually made up a saying for this scenario. I call it “killing two birds with one stone”. Feel free to use it whenever.
Now, with a male, you will face him front on. (don’t ever approach a guy from the rear, 85% of the time it doesn’t end well). When communicating with a male, scream in the ear that you are closest to. So if you are on his left hand side, scream in the left ear, if you are on his right hand side, scream in the right ear. Common sense would dictate that he accomodates you accordingly, by turning to his right if you are in his left ear, and visa versa.
On some occasions however, you will encounter strange males who will do the very opposite, as I did the other day.
The correct way of communicating in a night club, followed by the incorrect way.
Now what in Garth’s name are you doing there? Are you trying to kiss me?
No?
Then what the f**k are you doing, man?
Turn your head the other way when I am screaming in your ear. It’s like when you make out with somebody, you tilt right and they tilt left, you don’t BOTH tilt your heads in the same direction.
Seriously, sort your shit out, and don’t let that happen again.
It made me feel awkward, everytime it looked as if you wanted to brush your lips against mine.
Oakes signing off.
