While I Have Your Attention.

Nothing to do with SEO, but Michael Cera is cool, and hasn't appeared here before.

As some of you may know, when I’m not modelling underwear, attending A-list events, or gently caressing my inner thighs (all the while thinking about you), I occasionally dabble with something called “SEO”, which means “Search Engine Optimisation”.

If it sounds confusing and technical, it shouldnt be. Basically, it’s all about giving search engines what they want, and ensuring that the right type of people find the right type of website. So as an example, a website I am currently running, offers breast enlargement surgery to aspiring glamour models. It is therefore in my best interest to ensure that as many aspiring glamour models find this particular website, and have their breast enlargment surgery carried out here.

As you can imagine, SEO can therefore be a particularly lucrative industry if you know what you’re doing, and to help you along, Quirk -- a digital agency where I occasionally hang out -- have just announced an online distance learning SEO course they have developed, which will arm you with enough knowledge to go out there and make sinful amounts of money online.

The alternative of course, is to go out there and try and talk a good game without any sound knowledge, as many people do. I remember as a young and naive 18 year old, I would often tell people I was a trained ninja, and would get to kiss loads of girls on the mouth based on this blatant lie, until one day, at the Stones in Claremont, I bumped into a real and authentic trained ninja, who then challenged me to a duel in the nearby alley outside, and promptly handed my ass to me. (If that statement doesn’t make sense, it is because he firstly took it away from me -- yes, my own ass -- and then promptly handed it back to me -- the worse thing a trained ninja can do to you)

Have a look at the little SEO video below, to give you an idea of how you could be found out, and have your ass handed to you. (Figuratively in this case, not literally as in mine)

So anyhoo, if you’re interested in making money online, click here for more info.

Tell them Shaun sent you.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.