July 15, 2011
Day 1 – Friday
It’s late on Friday night – well, actually it’s more like the early hours of Saturday morning – and I am studiously and quietly typing away on my laptop, with one hand, whilst studiously and quietly feeling up The Girlfriend (fast asleep) with the other hand.
Today we arrived in Barrydale, our destination for the rest of the weekend. For those of you who don’t know this, Barrydale is a little farming town approximately 2.5 hours out of Cape Town. I say 2.5 hours, but it felt more like 10, as I have never been a big fan of long road trips.
To make matters worse, we left all our tunes at home, so instead of Phil Collins and the smooth, sultry sounds of the Backstreet Boys, I had to listen to whatever radio signal we could pick up. On that note, there is a really shitty radio station called “Valley FM” which I implore you all to avoid if you can. It has a heavy, preachy Afrikaans talk show vibe interlaced with moldy R&B songs from 5 years ago. It’s the type of radio station I would make people listen to if I despised them – for example, if they committed a crime against me, and I wanted them severely punished. I’m convinced the Americans use this radio stream as a torture technique when interrogating terrorist suspects in Guantanamo Bay. It’s that bad.
Anyhoo, the drive itself was fairly uneventful. We made a couple of obligatory stops at the Shell Ultra City one-stop, and a couple of those farm stall places where you can buy nuts, wines and those farm-style sweets which keeps the farmers’ wives nice and round, and which ensures that my bum will not be fitting into a size 34 jeans anytime soon. (Even a 36 is a bit optimistic right now. F**k.)
We eventually arrived at the Barrydale Karoo Hotel, which is the only hotel in the town. Disturbingly, I noted that it was situated directly across the street from a bottle store, which was doing great business stocking up the town drunks – of which there appears to be many – for the upcoming weekend.
We entered our room, and did our usual travelling ritual – The Girlfriend carefully unpacking everything neatly into the bedroom wardrobe and bathroom cupboards, whilst I carefully tested out the toilet facilities (I had earlier wolfed down a Steers burger which then proceeded to have an argument with my stomach) Once we sorted ourselves out, we did a walk around for a bit, had a drink at the bar, and then checked out a local Mediterranean restaurant. The food was hearty and tasty, and the portions were generous. I’m not sure about the other restaurants in this town, but I suspect we will be here again tomorrow evening. The restaurant is called “The Mez” (I think). I should probably confirm that, as it’s worth checking out if anyone finds themselves here.
After dinner and a few drinks, we staggered back to our hotel room with the intention of some tomfoolery. Unfortunately, the long drive and the general rigours of the day took a lot out of us, so we settled on a quick cuddle and a sleep instead. I woke up a couple of hours later however, feeling restless and in need of some social lubrication. The hotel rooms here are quite rustic, and we didn’t have any televisions, so I decided to head to the local bar instead, to check out the local talent and see how many chicks would hit on me. Unfortunately, the closest thing to flirting my way stemmed from “Oom Hannes”, a burly beast of a man, who kept bumping his shoulder up against mine at the bar, and who I suspected was insulting me at every opportunity (the music was loud, and he spoke in quickfire Afrikaans) He did all this, whilst simultaneously and casually stealing my cigarettes, which I had placed on the bar counter in front of me.
I do like the fact that Barrydale has quite a “folksy” vibe to it, where everyone goes to the same place every Friday night (a local drinking spot called the “Bistro Blues”) and everyone knows everyone. Because of this I now have a greater idea of who all the movers and shakers of Barrydale are, and will no doubt see them tomorrow with familiar, if blurry and red, eyes.
I eventually climbed into bed at about 2am this morning, and then squirted out this update, which is pretty impressive if you could see the state I’m in.
Okay, let’s chat tomorrow, going to go to bed now.
Oakes signing off.
