They Literally Won’t Cost You A Cent.

Concerned Shaun - You want me to pay HOW much?

Those of you who know me will of course be quite familiar with the fact that I hate spending money. I get a deep pain in my chest and a tightness in my loins whenever I have to open up my wallet and part with cash. In fact, just typing that last line has given me a bit of indigestion, together with some mild discomfort in my groin region.

Now, being a twenty something man-about-town who enjoys a bit of adventure, this lifestyle choice can sometimes be tricky, but over the years I have come up with a number of creative activities and things to do in this – admittedly shitty and cloudy right now – city of ours. With more than a week to go before payday, and money being too tight to mention, let’s take a look at a few activities to do in Cape Town:

1. Going to the Beach

Now sure, I actually hate the beach, but there is no reason that YOU should hate it. I’m a fairly open-minded man, and I understand that some people DO enjoy sitting in the sand under the baking sun. Chilling on the beach also allows you the opportunity to enjoy the breathtaking eye candy that Cape Town offers. And guess what? Going to the beach is completely free and you can stay there for as long as you want. Just make sure you’ve wiped all the sand off before you decide to climb into my car.

That shit is not going to fly.

Check out a list of Cape Town beaches with maps over here.

2. Going Up Table Mountain

“Huh? But Shaun,” I hear you cry out desperately. “Going up Table Mountain is not free surely?”.

“Of course it is,” I retort confidently. “You just need to prove it’s your birthday”. And that’s true. The Table Mountain cableway company will give you a free ride if you show up with your ID, thus proving that it’s your birthday. If you are planning on going up more than once a year, feel free to drop me a line. I might know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy. Who knows a guy. Who might know a guy. Who knows a guy. Who might be able to sort you out with another ID. Maybe.

I’m just saying.

Table Mountain Cableway info over here.

3. Walk on the Promenade

It’s in Seapoint, and chicks seem to dig doing this. You can walk along the Promenade, chill on the benches whilst watching the waves break ten feet away, do a little heavy petting on the green lawns under a palm tree – what’s not to like about the Promenade?

Nothing, that’s what. The Promenade is awesome. There are cute dogs in novelty outfits for chicks to coo over, and hot chicks in tight spandex for you to coo over. It’s what I call a “win win situation”. And it’s free.

And just like that, Thursday doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Not after receiving these three gems from Shaun. Yes, he is speaking in the 3rd person right now. And he is loving it.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.

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