October 19, 2011
Yes, An Extinct Dinosaur.
Whenever I run, people laugh at me. It’s not because of the mustard spandex pants I wear, or the biting jokes I make as I sprint up Orange Street in Gardens. I don’t really make biting jokes. I don’t have the energy or breath to make any jokes, least of all biting ones. After all, I’m sprinting up Orange Street in Gardens.
No, I think people laugh at me because I run like a T-Rex. I’m not sure when or why I began running like a T-Rex. But I’ve seen videos of myself running, and yes, I do in fact run like a T-Rex.
And it’s not as if I have short arms like the fearsome but now extinct Tyrannosaurus Rex either. No, I have long, gangly arms, like an orangutan (I constantly battle to find suits) so it baffles me that I run in this manner.
While we’re on this subject, I also walk on my toes. Like a pigeon.
Can’t really explain that either.
I will take solace in the fact that I’m ridiculously good looking though. But ya, it does irk me a little that I run and walk a little bit like the chick from Married…With Children. (and no, I’m not talking about the hot one either)
Oakes signing off.
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