It Will Make You Better In Bed. Not Really.

Stacie Orrico. One of Shaun's Followers on Twitter.

It’s Monday evening, and I’m feeling particularly lazy right now. Rather than spending time writing something breathtakingly original, I thought I would plug myself and talk about Twitter instead. It’s my dream to have 100,000 Twitter followers by next Friday.

Currently I have about 12. Ish.

I am really funny and witty though, so it’s probably in your best interests to “follow” me. If you’re still unsure, allow me to share some additional reasons why.

Here with some recent Tweets, to give you an idea of how entertaining I can be.

1. People who use the phrase “Love you lots like Jelly Tots” will get the shit kicked out of them today.
2. Greeting someone first is a sure fire sign of weakness. Always greet last. Always.
3. Everytime you unsubscribe from my blog, a little ginger kid get’s left outside in the rain.
4. Not to be funny, but scooters are not meant to be driven by fat people. #ThereISaidIt
5. Some people just need a High Five. In the face. With a chair.
6. Just smashed through a huge packet of Ghost Pops. My thighs are going to thank me for that one.
7. #DontYouJustHateItWhen … you are wearing shorts and airy boxers, and you don’t shake off properly after peeing.
8. So I’ve decided to stop smoking today. Apparently it’s bad for you when you’re breastfeeding.

And that’s just a small portion from the last few days. Can you imagine how glorious it would be to Follow Shaun Oakes on Twitter? You can’t, because it’s so staggeringly brilliant, your brain would literally explode at the mere thought of it. I don’t want your brain to explode (it’s not really in my best interests) so just click here to follow me now.

Follow Shaun Oakes on Twitter. You will love yourself in the morning.

That is all.

Boom. Shaun just turned this into a blog post.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.