As Shaun Makes An Acknowledgement

Nothing to do with this blog post, but I dig Ryan Gosling's vibe.

So Saturday arrived at my doorstep like an unwanted bastard child – well, not unwanted, we just weren’t expecting it so quickly – it just came knocking on our door whilst we were sprawled on the lounge floor, wondering where the day was going, and why there was a dead wildebeest in the kitchen.

Why was there a dead wildbeest in the kitchen? F**k knows. But there it was, lying there looking all dead and shit, and stinking up the kitchen.

Maybe this was why we were a little out of sync this weekend. Anyhoo, no excuses, so here goes:

1. The Guy Who Asked Us For Money Outside – Turns out I DID have change in my pocket. Sorry for lying to you. Hopefully you managed to find taxi fare to make it home to Stellenbosch. Although I am still skeptical about your story, hence me lying about not having change in my pocket. But as I said, I still feel apologetic about the whole thing, so this is me saying sorry to you.
2. The Guy On The Dance Floor – Sorry for calling your mother a whore, I don’t know her, so can’t really back up that statement. In mitigation for my statement, you DID bump into me whilst I was dancing to Bruce Spingsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark”, stopping me in mid flow, which is pretty criminal, as I was in the middle of a very complex spin and twirl. As I said though, bygones, and kudos to you for actually hearing my insulting slur despite the loud and heavy music. Thanks for not punching me in the face as well.
3. The Girl With The Leopard Print Tights – Sorry for pretending not to know you, it’s just… well… you kind of let yourself go since I last saw you. (to be fair). I admit it was slightly dickish on my part to look bemused when you came up to me, but I promise, next time I will admit to knowing you when I bump into you again. Again, sorry about that.
4. The Patrons At Barcello’s on Sunday Morning – All I wanted was some Very Peri sauce, and they couldn’t give it to me. It made me very emotional. Sorry for the inconvenience I may have caused.

Okay, apologies all out of the way. Let’s do the whole best-friends-who-just-slept-together vibe, and pretend that everything is normal again. Chat to you all tomorrow? Same time?

Cool, see you then.

Oakes signing off.

Shaun Oakes

This was written by the hulking mass of manliness known as Shaun Oakes. If you enjoyed what he had to say, you owe it to yourself to follow him on Twitter at @shaunoakes. Do it now.

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