November 7, 2011
As Shaun Makes An Acknowledgement
So Saturday arrived at my doorstep like an unwanted bastard child – well, not unwanted, we just weren’t expecting it so quickly – it just came knocking on our door whilst we were sprawled on the lounge floor, wondering where the day was going, and why there was a dead wildebeest in the kitchen.
Why was there a dead wildbeest in the kitchen? F**k knows. But there it was, lying there looking all dead and shit, and stinking up the kitchen.
Maybe this was why we were a little out of sync this weekend. Anyhoo, no excuses, so here goes:
- The Guy Who Asked Us For Money Outside – Turns out I DID have change in my pocket. Sorry for lying to you. Hopefully you managed to find taxi fare to make it home to Stellenbosch. Although I am still skeptical about your story, hence me lying about not having change in my pocket. But as I said, I still feel apologetic about the whole thing, so this is me saying sorry to you.
- The Guy On The Dance Floor – Sorry for calling your mother a whore, I don’t know her, so can’t really back up that statement. In mitigation for my statement, you DID bump into me whilst I was dancing to Bruce Spingsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark”, stopping me in mid flow, which is pretty criminal, as I was in the middle of a very complex spin and twirl. As I said though, bygones, and kudos to you for actually hearing my insulting slur despite the loud and heavy music. Thanks for not punching me in the face as well.
- The Girl With The Leopard Print Tights – Sorry for pretending not to know you, it’s just… well… you kind of let yourself go since I last saw you. (to be fair). I admit it was slightly dickish on my part to look bemused when you came up to me, but I promise, next time I will admit to knowing you when I bump into you again. Again, sorry about that.
- The Patrons At Barcello’s on Sunday Morning – All I wanted was some Very Peri sauce, and they couldn’t give it to me. It made me very emotional. Sorry for the inconvenience I may have caused.
Okay, apologies all out of the way. Let’s do the whole best-friends-who-just-slept-together vibe, and pretend that everything is normal again. Chat to you all tomorrow? Same time?
Cool, see you then.
Oakes signing off.
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