May 20, 2012
Worse Than People Who Blow Their Nose In Their Hands, Which I Also Strongly Despise.
It’s very seldom that I listen to music radio stations these days, do you?
I get way more satisfaction and enjoyment listening to myself singing classic ballads from the 80’s and 90’s. I do a rendition of The Backstreet Boys “All I Have to Give” that will literally make you soil yourself at the sheer magnificence of it all.
Seriously, if you are ever in my company and it seems that there is even a SLIGHT chance I may belt it out, make sure you’re wearing brown pants, or tear off your ears. Because you WILL end up shitting yourself.
And let’s be honest, it’s far more respectable to go through the rest of your life without ears than being the person who poo’d in their white linen pants in front of everyone after listening to Shaun Oakes’ rendition of the Backstreet Boys’ “All I Have To Give”.
On the odd occasion I listen to a music radio station, I find that I have become severely allergic to our DJ’s and their inane ramblings on air. I was staring at the wall in my lounge yesterday, and realised that there are 3 key things I currently despise about music radio stations.
1) DJs stating the obvious or speaking just for the sake of it (eg: “Hey, so it’s so windy in Cape Town right now, I just wish it wasn’t so windy you know what I’m saying? Ha ha ha!”)
Firstly, as you’re a regional radio station, there is a 99% chance that the people listening to you are sitting in Cape Town right now. So yes, thank you for telling us what we already know. It IS very windy, well done. More disturbingly though, what’s with that little laugh at the end there? Was there a joke that I missed somewhere? Is this actually very clever, deep humour that has completely gone over my head? Or is this just another example of your pseudo-American drawl you picked up somewhere and you’re just a knob? Please do tell.
2) DJs who think they are the only ones with access to the internet. (eg: “So Kim Kardashian has been spotted making out with Kanye West, and er… you know, things are getting crazy between them right now.”)
Guess what DJ, we also have access to TMZ, Perez Hilton and Twitter. Most of the time your news is pretty old, and is in that week’s issue of the YOU magazine anyway. So you telling us about a celebrity is just a waste of time. Rather be quiet and put on another song.
3) DJs who play Rihanna over and over and over again. And again. And again. And again.
It doesn’t matter what station I listen to. It’s always Rihanna. She must have about 17,000 songs out on radio right now. And they play every single one. Five times a day.
Am I alone here? What can they do on music radio to be less annoying? Hit me up with your comments. (See what I did there? I’m trying to initiate “conversation”.)
Oakes signing off.
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