Shaun Has A Close Shave With A Slightly Inebriated Rodent

It was a blustery Thursday last week, and I had just pulled up outside the HQ, having taken the car for a bit of a spin, when my spider senses suddenly kicked in.

I immediately rolled into a battle stance, awaiting an attack from an evil villain, long forgotten nemesis, or distant cousin, when I spotted something far far worse.

A mere ten feet away from me, was a brown sewer rat, strolling around and bothering the nearby tourists. An unfortunate Swedish visitor managed to piss off the rodent, as he was wearing a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt, which everyone knows is the WORSE thing you can wear when bumping into a rat. They f**king HATE those Hawaiian shirts.

A Brown Rat - Hating Those Hawaiian Shirts

The rat seemed a little drunk, slurring his words and speaking in a rather aggressive manner, and with a swift motion leapt up and bit the Swede’s two thumbs off. 

Now thumbless, he immediately burst into tears, as he was a professional guitarist back in Stockholm, and his career was basically over, simply for wearing that dodgy shirt.

The rat then came toward me, a cold shiver went up my spine, but I knew I had to be brave and flat out refused to wet myself in front of a rodent. Not again.

“Hey!” I said, with an artificially deep voice, hoping to hide my naked fear. 

“F**k Off Rat”.

And he did.

Wow, what a close call that was. Seriously though, why are there rats running around in Oranjezicht? I thought we were above all that. Where are my fumigators? I want my fumigators and I want them here NOW.

Jesus Hernandez, thank God I wasn’t wearing MY Hawaiian shirt, or I would never be able to play the banjo again.