As Shaun Catches Up On The News

Ruda - Striking A Pose

I took a break from snapping wrists and breaking knee caps today, and went searching on the net for naked pics of Patricia Lewis. Alas, these pics were not forthcoming, but I did stumble across news that Carte Blanche stalwart and resident ball-cruncher Ruda Landman would soon be leaving our television screens.

As an impressionable youth in the early 90’s, I harboured strong and unexplained feelings for Ruda, and would often spend many hours fantasizing about her and the Carte Blanche team, kicking my door down and then interrogating me over my rather questionable business of housing old coloured women from Paternoster and outlying areas, who I would then lease out to do the washing and ironing for middle class families in Cape Town.

That last sentence by the way, although long, is still grammatically correct. Look at it closely, you will see that I am right.

Ruda of course, was also ably assisted by the always dapper Derek Watts, who - although equally talented - looked a bit too much like 80’s television star Alf to be taken seriously.

Derek Watts.

Separated at Birth?

Alf.

Farewell Ruda, thanks for the memories. Sunday evenings won’t be the same without your strong, persuasive voice and your smooth and silky-looking hair.