The dating game is a very strange and complex world. Some people attract the opposite sex through their humour and charm, others through their good looks and material wealth, whilst others get by solely through their ability to dance well to Kate Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl (And I Liked It)”.
Then there are others of course, who use pick up lines to try and score. Contrary to popular belief, pickup lines do not really work that well, unless said in a humorous or ironic manner. Going up to someone and saying “You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy” is unlikely to lead to sex. Ever.
I have seen that line work maybe ONCE before, and that was only because the guy shot the girl in the neck with a tranquilizer dart as he said it. So yes, I think it’s best if we all agree to steer away from chat up lines.
The ones below are probably some of the worst pick up lines you can use, so avoid these like you would avoid a man with no arms who desperately needs someone to unclasp his belt and help him pee. (Seriously, that shit happens)
1) Girl, your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
Besides this being very lame, there are several fundamental errors with this particular chat up line. Firstly, you have things ON your mind, things don’t usually run THROUGH it. Also, why would her feet be tired? If she HAD been running all day, she would be sweaty, her legs would be sore, and she would have a bad stitch. She wouldn’t have “tired feet”. “Tired feet” would be the least of her worries. In fact, what the f**k does “tired feet” even mean?
2) You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you’re the Bomb.
Pearl Habour was bombed in 1941. The person you’re using this pick up line on was probably born in the 80′s, possibly the 90′s, if you’re dirty. There is a very good chance that they will not know what you’re talking about. Let’s rather keep that pick up line to ourselves, shall we? Yes, lets.
3) Hi, I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
May have worked in 1983. Definitely doesn’t work in 2008.
4) Your dad must be a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
Slightly clever, up until it’s brought to your attention that her dad is actually in jail for theft.
5) I want to be on you.
It didn’t work for Ron Burgundy, so why would it work for you?
6) If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
The answer is invariably no.
7) Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
A friend of mine used this line once. Suffice to say, his request was declined.
8) Your name must be Summer, cause you’re HOT!
A line which may appear cute enough, until it turns out that her name is Summer, resulting in several awkward minutes explaining that this was merely a coincidence and that you’re not a creepy stalker.
9) You know what would look great around you? My arms.
Before it becomes apparent that she much prefers the sight of her boyfriend’s foot wedged squarely up your ass.
10) If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Followed by a few seconds where she mentally goes through the alphabet, trying to remember where U and I actually go, before deciding that she actually likes them where they are.
Conclusion: There are of course, hundreds of lame pick up lines heard around bars, pubs and vegetable stands every day, but these are just a few of my personal highlights.
What is the lamest pick up line you’ve heard?