April 3, 2012 | 3 Comments
Well, Now You Can.
I often get random press releases about upcoming events or parties, which I usually pay no attention to, as I am completely anti-social. I pretty much hate everyone, with the exception of approximately 27 people, 3 dogs, 1 cat and a Shetland Pony named “Sidney Poitier”. Before you ask, I don’t know why the Shetland Pony is named after a legendary black Hollywood actor, that’s just how he was introduced to me, he has always gone by that name, and it just feels normal now and doesn’t feel ridiculous at all when I greet him and say “Hi Sidney Poitier”, as he contently eats his hay whilst simultaneously taking a shit.
Anyhoo, I received a mail the other day about a Lumberjack Festival happening in Stellenbosch in a couple of weeks, which sounds quite interesting. Women find men with beards very sexy, and I would literally kill someone if it meant I was able to grow a thick, manly beard. Unfortunately I am blessed with a smooth, baby-like face instead. If you know of a way to magically grow a thick face bush, my offer to kill someone still stands. (Has to be someone fairly weak physically though, so I can easily choke them out)
Here is an extract from the email about the event:
The STIHL Lumberjack Festival will be a carnival-crazy combination of an agricultural show, a musical festival, and a family fête – all centred around Lumber Games and other sporting activities that rope in children, parents, students, and the working man. Everything from Tree Climbing and Axe Throwing, to a Giant Tree Swing, Jumping Castle and epic Water Slide will be on the go – along with great music and comedy MC’ing providing further entertainment in the background throughout the day. A dedicated sundowner music session in the evening, when the Lumber Games have wound down, will feature Jeremy Loops performing on the Saturday the 14th of April, and the Valiant Swart Band on Sunday the 15th of April. The event will be hosted by comedian Dave Levinsohn.
I’ll see if I can score some free tickets for a couple of you.
Oakes signing off.