At The Cape Royale Hotel

It was a warm and Summery Thursday evening, which of course found me trying to seduce The Girlfriend, a weekly tradition we have in order to keep things “spiced up” in our relationship. She was having none of it though, and insisted that I romance her and take her out for a meal first.

Thus we decided to dine at 1800°, a grill room type restaurant situated in Cape Town, at the Cape Royale hotel.

The restaurant has a pretty chilled and relaxed vibe, with seating inside or preferably outside in the courtyard. I had just blowdried my hair, so was quite happy to dine outside.

For starters, The Girlfriend enjoyed the steamed mussels, whilst I tucked into the chicken liver dish. I’m not usually a fan of liver, usually only eating it when someone has pinned me down and forced it down my throat, as my mom used to do. This dish was immaculately prepared though, and the taste actually left me with a bit of a semi, which as everyone who is familiar with me will know is a glowing endorsement.

1800 Degrees Restaurant: It will give you a semi.

For the mains we were spoilt for choice. Although primarily a grill house, with a wide choice of delectable steaks on hand, their seafood was also supposed to be pretty highly rated.

I was in the mood for meat though, and so dived head first into the prime beef rib, with The Girlfriend - still feeling the seafood vibe - dining on the grilled swordfish.

My steak arrived with steamed veggies and three different imported salts, together with a sauce from Argentina called “Chimichurri”, which had a bit of a kick. The steak was tasty, yet wasn’t dry or tough as is sometimes the case with beef, and left me with my toes curled in quiet contentment. The Girlfriend was pretty cuffed with her swordfish, and agreed that we could now fool around later in the evening, much to my delight.

Not before dessert though, where we enjoyed Homemade Ice-cream and Vanilla Creme Brulee (”Broolay”, not “brully”, you Philistine)

So yeah, 1800 degrees restaurant has a cool vibe and a great setting, and would be a very good choice for a first date or just a romantic dinner, virtually guaranteeing you some action later.

Here with some more info on this Cape Town restaurant:

Shaun gives it three thumbs up. (He was three thumbs. Deal with it.)

What: 1800° Restaurant (www.18hundreddegrees.com)
Where: Cape Royale, Green Point Main Road,Cape Town
How Much: + - 250 per person. (for three courses)
Contact:+27 (0)21 430 0506

For Buffet Dining In Cape Town

It was a cold and windy Thursday, and I had just completed a long and busy day. The Girlfriend, sensing my fatigue, eventually decided to climb off my face and suggested we eat something.

“What do you feel like eating?” I murmured, as I looked around frantically for my dentures. We were in the mood for something both substantial and tasty, perhaps a buffet of some kind.

“Perhaps a buffet of some kind?” I mentioned authoritively, as I could read The Girlfriend’s mind and she WAS in fact, in the mood for a buffet.

So it came to pass then, that we found ourselves at The Fountains Hotel Restaurant in the city centre.

Fountains Hotel Restaurant

The Fountains Hotel is situated near the Foreshore (close to the Absa building) and, as the name suggests, IS in fact, a hotel. What you may not know about it, is that it also offers a lively and diverse buffet menu in the restaurant, where people can walk in off the street, and then proceed to feast and dine like they did in medieval times.

The restaurant is tastefully decorated, and surprisingly spacious, able to easily host 150 people plus. When you arrive, a waitor will seat you at the table and briefly tell you what’s on offer. Because it’s a hotel, and taking into account the various clientele, the restaurant tries to cater for all tastes, and thus a diverse menu awaits.

Initially we enjoyed a Greek-style first course of various breads, dips, cheeses and olives. It was whilst going up for seconds that I noticed some fish soup, eyeing me seductively on the table to my right. Naturally I obliged and headed on over to try that out as well.

For the main course we were again spoilt for choice, with various meat dishes batting their eyelids at us in a flirtatious manner. These consisted of lamb curries, beef stews, seared chicken breasts as well as prawns, all accompanied by a large contingent of vegetable dishes such as butternut, pumpkin, noodle salads etc etc.

If that wasn’t enough, the dessert menu also succeeded in getting us hot and randy. They offer something like 10 or 11 different desserts, from decadent cheese cakes, to simple vanilla ice cream.

All in all, we had a substantial three course meal, in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere, which ended up coming to the not very princely sum of R150 per person, almost unheard of in Cape Town. The service was pretty jacked up as well, and ensured that our table was never filled with dirty plates or glasses.

The Fountains Hotel Restaurant is thus an awesome spot for a Sunday afternoon buffet lunch with the family, or if you’re just in the mood for a wholesome three course meal during the week. It’s certainly incredibly affordable, in comparison to other Cape Town eateries.

In addition, they have a trendy bar where you can mingle after work, offering all cocktails for only R20. I couldn’t quite believe that but I checked it out and this is in fact, the case. All cocktails for R20, and they will also make anything you ask, so it’s already on my list for top five after work hangout spots in Cape Town.

Parking is available in the adjacent Riebeek street, and the restaurant stays open till about 11pm, so be sure to make a turn there.

Shaun definitely recommends.

What: Fountains Hotel Restaurant (www.fountainshotel.co.za)
Where: 1 St Georges Mall, Cape Town. (Near the circles at the Foreshore, nearby the one with the fountains)
How Much: + - 150 per person.

Contact: +27 21 443 1100

Charges A Cakeage Fee If You Bring A Cake

Carlyle's Restaurant in Vredehoek.

Carlyle’s is a vibey little restaurant in Vredehoek, full of vibey little people, eating vibey little food. So this was where we found ourselves the other day, because we consider ourselves pretty vibey, and we were really hungry.

The place is not overly large, roughly the size of the lounge at The HQ, so it’s a fairly intimate setting. There were 8 of us who arrived to celebrate an engagement, which proved to be a problem because, as previously mentioned, the place is the size of The HQ’s lounge. Stay with me here.

Anyhoo, after much compromise and gnashing of teeth, we managed to squeeze everyone in, although I was forced to sit inside The Girlfriend’s handbag, which was slightly uncomfortable, but I wasn’t in the mood for complaining.

The place DOES have a nice little vibe, very chilled, without a hint of pretension, and the food was pretty good as well.

They make pizzas, steak, pasta as well as seafood. The entire menu is up on one of the walls, although the waitrons are also able to comfortable rattle off everything, which can take up to 5 mins but is pretty fascinating nonetheless.

We made our waitron repeat herself three times and she didn’t forget a single item. I know this because I am a bit of a Rain Man myself. If you don’t know who Rain Man is, I suggest you go and hire the DVD. Basically it’s a great little 80’s flick starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman.

Back to the subject at hand, the bill came and we were pleasantly surprised to see that they had charged us an extra fee for what they called “cakeage”. Like “corkage” except with cake.

Yes, we had brought in a cake as part of the celebrations. All we wanted to do was have our cake and eat it.

The Cake.

So yes, whilst Carlyle’s may offer a good night out, beware of their extra costs.

The Cakeage Fee.

They charge a corkage fee, as well as a cakeage fee. In addition, they allegedly also charge extra fees for any dinner party bringing in fat people, men who wear two toned shirts as well as women who have overly large heads. So be warned.

What: Carlyle’s
Where: 17 Derry Street, Vredehoek
How Much: + - R120 per person. (That includes a stiff Jameson or three)

Consumers Unhappy With These Cape Town Restaurants

Unhappy Consumers - Unhappy With Bad Service.

Besides my usual batch of fan mail, hate mail, pics of naked women, pics of naked men, and adverts promising to cure my bald spot; I received the following two emails this week.

One relates to a particularly bad experience at the Quarterdeck Restaurant, situated at the Grand West Casino, whilst the other was more of a concern regarding the excessive wine prices at Belthazar Restaurant, situated at the V & A Waterfront.

Not having much going on at the moment, I thought this would be an interesting case study to see whether these two establishments would take the time to address these grievances, or simply ignore them and foster resentment on the part of the customer.

Strong words there Bernie. I wonder if the manager will be contacting you now.

A good point Louis, I actually remember a story a few months back about Belthazar charging a customer R9000 for a bottle of wine.

I’ve sent the two establishments this url, and encouraged them to respond. Let’s wait and see if they do, and what they have to say regarding the points raised.

Shaun Has A Meal There And Goes, “Meh”.

Sinns In Wembley Square, Cape Town.

It was a tepid Friday night at The HQ, and I was scavenging around, desperately looking for food. The fridge was a definite no go area - the bowl of tuna pasta was old enough to be my mother, and the slice of pizza at the bottom shelf was actually waving at me, asking me where the party would be that evening.

I didn’t know where the party would be that evening, but I did know where Sinns Restaurant was, and so The Girlfriend and I ventured forth to Wembley Square in Gardens, for what we hoped would be an evening filled with gastronomical delight.

Sinns is what one may call a “trendy spot”. The location is certainly superb, on the ground floor of Wembley Square, opposite that sushi place that everyone loves, and S-Bar, which is actually Sinns bar.

S-Bar was understandably packed - full of beautiful, hip, upwardly mobile people - with a sprinkling of ugly, hip upwardly mobile people. And one distinctly immobile person, who looked like she would need an oversized crane to help her off that ottoman.

Sinns on the other hand, was relatively quiet, which was rather disconcerting for a Friday night. I remember trying to make a reservation some time last year, phoning on the Friday afternoon hoping to make it for that evening.

The hostess at the time, laughed her tits off at the thought, and I ended up at McDonalds instead. This time round though, it was actually possible to stroll in without a reservation and get a table.

In terms of the food, The Girlfriend yearned for the duck, whilst I settled for the line fish, which was Silverfish. Both dishes came with a side order of fresh vegetables, which consisted of broccoli, pumpkin, carrots and a horrible beetroot mix.

The food was… adequate, certainly not horrible, but not exactly spectacular either. Bland is probably the word I would use to best describe it. The chef is obviously trying out some creative concoctions - my fish was on top of a bed of cream spinach, surrounded by crisp strips of bacon - but it just didn’t quite come off.

The Girlfriend felt the same way about her duck, and we were both left feeling that something was missing. The food lacks that X-factor, that thing that makes you say, “Shit, that’s helluva tasty” and gives you a semi erection at the thought of it, days after, when you’re lying on your leather four-seater eating toast.

A redeeming feature was the dessert though, a rich chocolate cheese cake surrounded by fresh fruit and creamy ice cream. That was something which certainly met my expectations, leaving me with a warm chubbiness in my loins for days after.

In summary, Sinns was like the new Linkin Park album, very well packaged and marketed, until you actually play it on your iPod and realise that there’s only one good track worth listening to.

Slightly underwhelming, let’s try harder next time, shall we?

What: Sinns
Where: Wembley Square, Gardens
How Much: + - R180 per person. (Give or take a stiff Jameson or two)