And Let His Awesomeness Radiate Over You, Like Warm Seamen.

Boom! Did he really write that? Nah, he didn’t, he was clearly talking about sailors.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned Twitter before, haven’t I? I can’t find the post, but I know I have, I’m not lying about it.

Anyhoo, you should be pretty familiar with Twitter by now, it’s like the new Facebook, and EVERYONE is using it. Even your mom.

It allows you to send short messages (140 characters) and is great for sending short updates on what you’re doing, interesting links or things you’ve seen, and just general musings. Some cool people are making use of Twitter, including the likes of Britney Spears, Chuck Norris, John Cleese and even Julius Malema.

Even more importantly however, is the fact that I am on Twitter, and you can now follow my “tweets”, as they happen in real time.

Here with some of my recent musings:

• I think I’m going to make the Running Man a fashionable dance move again. It’s time has come.
• I seem to be peeling. I’m going to collect all the bits and use it to create a clone.
• I am going to start dressing up as a Pirate. I will need a parrot though. Preferably a green one.
• Woke up this morning to find The Girlfriend’s foot in my mouth. Today could be a weird day.
• My nose is itching. someone is obviously having dirty thoughts about me.
• There is something rather liberating about not wearing underpants on tuesdays. it’s a bit manky to do this on wednesdays though.
• The Monster Energy drink (lo-carb) is so sexy. I want to sleep with it and get it pregnant.
• Last night was spent dancing on the ceiling. I can confirm that it is, in fact, quite a feeling.

For more of these daily gems, do yourself a favour and follow me on Twitter.



Follow Shaun Oakes on Twitter. You will thank yourself in the morning.

Go. I’m finished speaking to you now.

---

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Read This When You Have Time.

So as many of you are aware, when I’m not putting together multi million dollar deals, feeling up The Girlfriend, or inventing things like the colour red, I sporadically hang out at this internet marketing agency in town. (Cape Town, not Chi Town. Or O-Town.)

Sometimes, I occasionally write things for them as well.

This is one of those occasions.

Take a look and read it, it’s well worth two minutes of your time. Here with an incredibly teasing extract:

Do it, you know you want to.

Does Anyone Care About MySpace Though?

So I was thinking about setting up a MySpace page the other day for my rock band, which I’m still busy putting together but will no doubt be incredibly awesome. Anyhoo, I was reading up on MySpace and what they are all about, and noticed that they are now also allowing you to manage and set up your own adverts, which would then appear on other people’s pages, according to their profiles. Similar to Google Adwords in a way.

MyAds By MySpace

I dunno. I get that more and more of these free social networking sites need to start making money, but the whole advert vibe only seems to work for Google. I know Facebook have also been running adverts for a while now, but has anyone ever clicked on one?

I think I did maybe once - there was a picture of a women with a very impressive cleavage, and I thought it might lead me to naked pics of Patricia Lewis, but sadly it didn’t.

Anyhoo, if you’re interested, you can head over here, to learn more about it.

So don’t say you never learn anything over here, because you just have.

We Take A Closer Look At It.

YouTube - Taking A Closer Look.

So, I was f**king around on YouTube this evening, looking for a new Friday Feel Good Jam, when I noticed a couple of things.

Firstly, I wasn’t wearing any pants, which surprised me as I had just gone to Gardens Centre a few minutes earlier and never really picked up on this.

The other thing I realised though, is that YouTube seems to be quietly adding interesting little features to their website, like a young man slyly shaving his pubic hairs to make his balls look bigger to his seasoned lover. In this instance, YouTube have given their balls an enlarged appearance through the following:

Click To Buy / Download
You can now view certain music videos, trailers for games, and other shit of that nature, and then click to purchase it through iTunes or Amazon (there is a screenshot below so that you can see that I’m not lying.)

Screenshot: Because Shaun Doesn't Talk Shit.

Slim. Not slim as in “thin” though, I mean slim as in “clever”, it’s an Afrikaans word.

Audio Preview Of Comments
The other cool thing I noticed is that when you make a comment now, you can have it read back to you before submitting. This is great because you can then hear what it sounds like first which thus prevents you from writing something ignorant or chop-like. I suppose it’s a bit like the Mail Goggles which stops you sending drunk emails.

So now if you decide to comment on a video clip eg - The New Loud Rockets from Rocking The Daisies, there will be a button saying “Audio Preview”.

Anyhoo, just thought I’d share that. Oh yes, the other thing is that you should probably think about subscribing to the offical Shaun Oakes YouTube Channel, which will be packed full of amazing footage and never-before-seen videos, giving you more insight into the exciting and dangerous life I lead. Content will be added regularly, and you will be a fool to miss out on it. Seriously, you will kick yourself and may need to go on anti-depressants. That’s how bad you will feel.

Okay, that’s all we have time for tonight. Until next time, take care of yourself, aaaaaand each other.

Doesn’t Look Too Bad.

After previously mentioning the group orgy held recently at the launch of the Apple iPhone, I thought it necessary to mention the fact that Google is about to unleash their own little bit of geek porn to the masses, namely the G1 phone which runs on something called the “Android” operating system. (The operating system is basically what developers will use to make useless applications for the phone, similar to the various iPhone applications floating around.)

Anyhoo, this phone at least looks somewhat decent in comparison to Apple’s number, as the pics below clearly illustrates:

G1 - Sexy.

Gphone - We Might Have Sex With It.

Maybe.

Again, as stated last time, not sure how much money I would be willing to fork out for this, probably not much. Having said that though, when one thinks of Google you tend to think of quality, and the downloading of free nudie pics (or is that just me?) so let’s sit back for a while and see how the whole cellphone war plays out.

Check out the G1 Phone’s official site here.

Should I Be Impressed Though?

I was quite alarmed recently to notice the amount of geeks and anorak wearers walking around the streets of Cape Town with massive erections. Disturbed by these events, I did a little research on the “internet”, and realised that this has something to do with the recent launch of the Apple iPhone in South Africa.

iPhone - The Source Of Various Wet Dreams Since 2008.

I am certainly not what people would refer to as a “fanboy” so I’ve had to read up on just what the f**k this iPhone thing is all about. After scanning numerous blogs and websites, I still don’t quite get what all the hype is about.

As far as I can tell, you can make calls, send emails, play music, and store a fair amount of data on the phone.

Sure, it also comes with a camera, but it’s a shitty 2 megapixel one - which for photo purposes is the equivalent of trying to have sex with a limp dick.

The video below tries to hype the iPhone up a bit, mentioning that there will be tons of “cool iPhone applications” to download.

Now, unless there is an iPhone application that will pour me a stiff Jameson on a Saturday afternoon, or one that will hold my hair back when I’m hurling on a Saturday night, it’s not going to get me rushing out to purchase one of these mobiles.

iMod had a list of the iPhone prices in South Africa, which you can see below.

iPhone Prices In South Africa

Again, with those prices, I kind of expect more from the iPhone? Judging by some other posts I’ve read, I’m clearly not the only one. I guess I’m just a little baffled then as to why this phone seems to be so popular then.

Anyone like to help me out?