Cell C Operators Are Rude

It was a warm and blustery Thursday and I was busy diffusing a bomb. Just as I was about to cut the decisive wire, my cellphone rang with a shrill blast - causing my partner to leap up to the ceiling, like a feral cat that's just been shot with a potato gun by the overweight kid from next door who doesn't have any real friends but pretends that he's happy all the same.

"Is that Cape Town's Favourite Son?" said an unnaturally happy sounding man on the other line.

"As far as I know," I said without a hint of sarcasm. I was still Cape Town's favourite son as far as I knew, although I was getting a little anxious about the new guy that kept buying Cape Town 15 year old bottles of brandy whenever we had a braai.

"My name is [muffled], and I'm phoning from Cell C," said the Happy Guy. He then proceeded to tell me about the amazing offer I had just earned, consisting of a brand spanking new cell phone - I believe it was a Nokia - and then going into his whole sales pitch about how awesome the phone was, whilst stressing that it was free etc. At the end he mentioned something about changing over to a Cell C contract, which is where I assumed the catch would then come into play. Make no mistake, there is ALWAYS a catch.

Anyhoo, I let him finish his bit, as it had been a while since someone has actually called me, and I liked the attention. I suddenly had a horrible epiphany of how lonely it would be as an old man, smelling of old coin with just the hint of urine, and talking about the cost of electricity and the cabbage I had just stolen. Shrugging of those morbid thoughts, I wiped away the tears and cleared my throat.

"Thanks, it sounds amazing," I replied, "but I'm not going to be taking up your offer, I'm quite happy with my cellphone and- ".

I didn't get a chance to finish, as I heard the dialing tone in my ear.

I COULDN'T quite believe it, but Happy Guy actually had the audacity to PUT THE PHONE DOWN on me whilst I was in mid-sentence. Have you ever? He didn't even have the decency to say "thanks and good bye" or "sorry you're not taking up the offer."

I found this amazing, don't they record calls for quality purposes? How could he just put the phone down on me as soon as it seemed I wasn't interested? Do they have such tight targets that they cannot afford to waste any time politely ending the call? Which wire was I going to cut?

These were the questions racing through my mind thereafter.


Cell C - Ombeskof

F*ck you Cell C. Your adverts may be fairly decent, and I like your corporate colours, but your sales staff appear to be a bunch of arseholes, and on principle I will now never consider taking up a contract with you.



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