07 July, 2008
Don't Watch It. Seriously. Don't .
Hancock. A Shit Movie.
I once paid R200 for a warm Amstel.
It was a cold and dark Friday night at a nightclub called Blink in Claremont, I had just consumed 23 bottles of Smirnoff Ice (one after the other, it was sort of my "thing" at the time) and needed a change of beverage, otherwise I would have thrown up, which would probably have prevented me from making out with the flossie I was trying to impress. With the light at Blink being notoriously dim, and due to the fact that I DID just consume 23 bottles of Smirnoff, the R200 note understandably resembled a R20, and I generously told the ample-chested barlady to keep the change.
The annoyance experienced thereafter however, was NOTHING compared to the way I felt after watching Hancock, the new "movie" starring Will Smith.
I like Will Smith. He seems like the type of guy I would get on with, and probably hang out with if I really wanted to. Why he decided to star in this stinker however, is beyond me. Let's give you a quick breakdown of the plot. Smith plays the role of "John Hancock" a superhero who lives in Los Angeles. He is not your typical superhero though, he drinks religiously, doesn't shave, and doesn't have a goofy alter ego. Although he helps people and stops bad guys, he causes millions of dollars worth of damage in the process, and as such, the public have taken quite a disliking to him. Jason Bateman plays a PR Guy who, after being saved by Hancock, decides to help him improve his public image. Oh, and then there's also Charlize Theron who plays Jason Bateman's wife.
The problem with this movie is that it seems to suffer from an identity crisis. Is it a comedy? An action flick? Maybe a drama? It sort of tries to touch on all these elements, but doesn't really pull it off. The premise of an alcoholic superhero was clever enough, but that's all they really had, it's like the script writers didn't really know what to do or where to go with the storyline thereafter. There are some half baked bad guys thrown in, a couple of meaningless action scenes and a ridiculous and non-sensical "twist" that will leave you scratching the dandruff flakes from your head. The film is a mess, and the only reason it may prove to be successful is because of the star power of the cast.
Bizarrely, some critics like Barry Ronge have hailed this movie as one of the top films of the year. Then again, this is the same guy who wears checked waist-coats and square-tipped shoes, so I wouldn't take his opinion very seriously.
Take my advice, give this film a miss, it's been marketed as both an action-packed blockbuster and a comedy and it fails to deliver on both fronts. Seriously, you will be very disappointed.
It scores a Steve-O rating of 1.
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