He Will Have You For Breakfast. Together
With His Tea And Sarmy.
Monday evenings at The HQ usually means three things - baking
bread, eating bread and then downloading video clips of attractive
yet muscular female wrestlers. I know that may sound slightly out
of character for me, but I've always had a passion for baking bread,
thanks to the magical baking tin passed down from generation to
generation in my family. As for eating, this is a hobby I've had
for many many years, something I do practically every day.
Anyhoo, back to the subject at hand - it was whilst surfing through
YouTube's massive archive of professional wrestling videos, that
I stumbled across the trailer for Rambo 4.
Yes, John Rambo is back to unleash hell on the
dirty communists and evil terrorists who insist on pissing him off.
People seem to forget the fact that John Rambo is actually the toughest
man on earth, which is quite understandable seeing as Rambo
has never been much of a showboater.
As everyone knows, he normally needs to be coaxed and cajoled into
slaughtering bad guys, usually requiring that a loved one gets killed
or maimed first before jumping into action.
And boy does he jump into action.
Smoking Leads To Death. Death By Rambo.
John Rambo is so tough, he makes Jack Bauer look like an effeminate
Pilates instructor. He makes John McClane look like a member
of The Pet Shop Boys.
The trailer for his new movie will literally blow you away. You
want to know why I haven't updated my blog for a while? This is
why.
Steve O and I watched it together and were actually blown all the
way to Worcester, where we had to hitch hike our
way back to Cape Town, which proved to be cumbersome as we were
both wearing our ninja outfits at the time, and no one is ever keen
to pick up hitch hiking ninjas, for fear of DEATH.
Best be safe - strap yourself to your chair and watch the trailer
below.
Jesus Hernandez, how bloody awesome was that?
He... he ... he ripped that guys head off... with his BARE HANDS!
He shot that other guy to PIECES! He still speaks INCOHERENTLY!
Apparently the plot involves Rambo going to Burma (Myanmar) and
declaring war on the entire country, after the bad guys kidnap the
chick he was thinking of boning. Which is quite possibly the worse
thing someone can EVER do:
2) NEVER EVER kidnap or harm a chick that John Rambo is thinking
of boning.
All of this points to the most exciting movie of 2008.
Yes, it's due to arrive early next year sometime and will undoubtedly
be one of the most anticipated flicks of the Summer.
Screw Indiana Jones, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, this is the
film I will definitely be watching. Twice.
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