21 February, 2008
Shaun Experiences The Labia.
Discovers It Might Be Closing Down.
The Labia. Experienced By Shaun.
As an adventurous and free spirit, I am someone
who enjoys trying weird and wonderful things at least once, and
will then often try it again and again, like a fat child who doesn't
know when to stop eating. Recent first-time adventures include using
this "Google" thing (3 weeks ago) as well as having sex
(2 weeks ago).
So it was with great excitement then, when The Girlfriend took me
to the Labia Theatre, in Orange Street, Cape Town.
Whenever I think of The Labia Theatre, my mind invariably turns
to screenings of off-beat artsy films, gay and lesbian cinema festivals,
weirdly dressed hippies and slightly mouldy old people in soft pastel
colours. This isn't necessarily the case though. Sure, all of these
ARE there, although to be fair to the hippies - they were not THAT
weirdly dressed - one of them had on the same pair of Hello Kitty
sandals that I was sporting.
... Not LITERALLY the same pair, obviously. It was identical to
mine. We were both wearing our own pairs. They just happened to
Anyhoo, at the Labia, you have the ability to drink copious
amounts of alcohol whilst watching your film, a right I
have long fought over with the management of Ster Kinekor as well
as Nu Metro, who unjustly seem to frown upon this, and who have
regularly ejected me whenever I bring out a trusty six-pack from
the confines of the rucksack I carry around with me.
The Labia seating arrangements are also far superior to the larger
complexes, allowing you to bring a blanket, a basket and basically
have a picnic in your seat. It's that big.
A bit of a Cape Town institution, it was opened
way back in 1940, by Queen Labia, the famous Cape Town transvestite
who just wanted a place to watch his movies and drink his beer,
without getting hassled by Ster Kinekor and Nu Metro staff. And
so a cultural hotspot was developed, and became a place much loved
by hundreds of regular patrons, like Table Mountain, or the slightly
skanky-looking blonde who lives in the block of flats next to the
HQ. (What DOES she do?)
What is interesting is that apparently the Labia might be closing
down. As anyone who has driven passed will know, there is currently
a lot of construction taking place. Rumours seem to suggest that
the owners are mulling with the idea of selling it off, to be demolished
and replaced with luxury 2-bedroomed flats.
Which means I may have to smuggle beers into my rucksack again,
and risk being crushed by the fearsome
Neville, from the Cavendish Ster Kinekor.
Seriously, he could - I heard he has a bionic arm.
You can contact the Labia at (021) 424 5927 or email them at email@example.com
to find out what's playing.
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