Is This Irony?

Was looking for tasteful pornography earlier, and instead stumbled across the news that actor David Carradine, star of Kill Bill Vol 1 and Vol 2, has died.

David Carradine, with Jesus now.

After the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Monkeybone, and Gandhi, Kill Bill (Vol 1) is probably one of my favourite movies of all time, so I was more than a little bummed to hear about this. Apparently it was suicide as well. Hectic.

Nice of them to point out that he was found naked. I’m sure it’s something we were all wondering about.

Anyhoo, rest in peace David Carradine, you had a good innings (he was 72).

As Dyslexia Is Celebrated In Tygervalley

Spotted at the Engen Steers this week.

Monday...Tuesday...Wednenday

Short. But sweet. Just the way we like it.

[thanks bazza]

They Just Don’t.

Andy Samberg and Will Ferrel singing about how cool guys don’t look at explosions, they just walk away in slow motion.

It’s much harder than it looks though. I tried walking away from an exploding car a few years ago, and ended up with my back on fire. I was buzzing at the time though, so didn’t really feel it, until I arrived at this club in town, hit the dancefloor, and then everyone was like, “Shaun, man, you’re on fire.” I was like, “Yeah, I know, it’s a new dance move I have perfected. I call it the Funky Chipmunk.” And then they were like, “No dude, you are literally on fire!”

True story.

Oakes signing off.

And Their Winter Specials

Seeing as how I love to eat (I try and do it at least twice a day), I thought it would be fitting to share with you some current specials taking place at a variety of restaurants in Cape Town.

Check it out.

Then, there are also restaurant specials to be had in the Winelands:

Not to mention event specials in Cape Town:

Last but not least, here with some regular ongoing specials:

How helpful is that? I don’t think I’ve eaten at many of these places. Maybe someone should invite me to do a restaurant review?

I’m just saying…

Oakes signing off.

[thanks shaheen]

Something Which I’m Sure We All Go Through

When you come out a bathroom and are walking toward people, do you worry for a split second that you haven’t zipped up and that your winky is chilling outside?

A thought which often occurs.

Hey? Is it just me?

Imagine that happened, it would be pretty bad. Well, not as bad as when you wear boxer shorts, and you don’t shake off properly, and then the latecomers end up running down your leg, and you’re wearing thin camel chinos, so everyone in the office can see what’s just happened.

Yeah, that wouldn’t be very pleasant.

Oakes signing off.

You Haven’t Watched It Yet? Do It Now.

Spock and James T Kirk: Wat kyk jy? (What you looking at?)

So, after watching Wolverine recently and feeling a little, well, meh, we decided to go and see the new Star Trek movie, which we had mentioned a while back when we were all still friends. They had been pushing Star Trek pretty hard these last few months and, although certainly not a die hard Trekkie fan, I was eagerly looking forward to seeing it, they way a young man might look forward to having sex with an attractive older woman, who has a husband who is always up in Johannesburg on business, and who longs for young, firm flesh.

And so, with all my chores out the way, The Girlfriend agreed to give me an advance in my allowance money, and off we went to go and see the flick.

As mentioned, I’m not overtly familiar with all the previous movies, the numerous spin-off series’ and the various comic books which make up the Star Trek universe. I was just hoping to be entertained with a solid story, get taken in by some action and special effects, and catch a glimpse of the chick who plays Uhura’s boobies.

… I just reread that last bit. Just to clarify, there wasn’t a chick playing the ROLE of Uhura’s breasts. What I meant was, I wanted to catch a glimpse of the boobies of the actress PLAYING Uhura. (I had a crush on her ever since her role in “Guess Who“, alongside Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac, who is dead now.)

So, what did I think of Star Trek?

• Gripping story – Check. It wasn’t your usual special effect-laden movie with a paper thin plot. The story was engaging, and kept our attention throughout. It was also fairly well paced, with no lulls where you find yourself wondering whether The Girlfriend will put out later that evening if you take her for dinner.
• Action and special effects – Check. It’s 2009, so the special effects in comparison to previous Star Trek movies is cranked way up. The ship looks awesome, the space battle looked authentic, and the action scenes left me sitting there with just a hint of a semi, which is all you’re asking for from an action scene at the end of the day.
• Glimpse of breasts – Sadly, this was not forthcoming, although there was a decent enough scene with this green alien which briefly left me pondering whether I would sleep with a green chick. (I’m in the “maybe after a few beers” camp)

All in all, we were pretty blown away by the film. It’s not just aimed at your die-hard Star Trek fan, but for the mainstream audience who don’t know shit about the whole backstory. (It basically starts from right at the beginning, before James T Kirt becomes the captain of the Starship Enterprise, where he is just a bit of a dick trying to get by).

Seriously, I’m not going to go over the plot details or any shit like that. If you’re looking for a good time, and you don’t mind watching space ships and lasers go off, then go and see Star Trek, you will be pleasantly surprised

If that doesn’t sway you, be sure to check out the latest trailer for the movie. (I couldn’t embed it here, because YouTube were being dicks about it)

Star Trek scores a Steve-O rating of 4.

Oakes signing off.

Especially When You’re Naked and Weird Looking.

It’s Saturday and we have just enough time for a quick video clip. Have a look at what happens when a greasy looking naked guy who seems overly excited about what is happening on his computer screen, ignores his dog, who I believe is a Danish breed of Boxer.

Hey? Hey? How awesome was that? It’s a bit like the time I ignored The Girlfriend and she drove my car through a brick wall.

Well, I guess it’s not really the same thing. But I’m still a little bitter about the whole episode.

Sorry about the screaming at the end though, I don’t know what that was about.

Oakes signing off.

About the new club they opened on the Moon?

Apparently the food is great, but there is no atmosphere.

Boom. Boom.

Oakes signing off.

[thanks kat]