How To Make R110 Million In One Day

I was strolling around Pick 'n Pay in Gardens Centre, looking for strawberries who wouldn't leave me in the lurch, when I felt a tugging at my sleeve, and looked down to find a staff member who I had accidentally trampled on. This happens regularly, as people are always trying to kiss my feet or attempt to inhale the vapour trail of pure greatness I exude.

It was then that I also noticed that the store had gone and changed their logo.

If you haven't seen it yet, this is what it now looks like:


Inspired By Who? Inspired By YOU!

"How cute," I thought.

"Raymond Ackerman has gone and roped in one of his grandchildren to design him a little logo using Photoshop"

Slightly nepotistic, but when you run a multimillion rand business, you are of course allowed to pull shit like that.

It was only yesterday when I was busy sniffing old newspapers at The HQ - yes, it's a strange habit but I love the musty scent - that I read up on what really transpired. I then did a check today using this "Google" thing and discovered that some lucky firm coined R110 million for this.

Jesus Hernandez, R110 million for that? If you're not busy choosing sponsors for the PSL, this is probably the easiest way to make money.

I'm not an advertising guy but it looks like it took about a day to conceptualize?

I mean, they were OBVIOUSLY rushing, they even forgot about the apostrophe. Seriously, what the f**k does that lonely letter n actually mean now?

Telling someone I'm going off to "Pick Nnnn Pay" makes me sound like a retard. Is that what you guys want? To make us sound like we have speech impediments? Or do you want us to just accept and look over your bad grammar.

Because that's what it is. Bad Grammar.

Anyhoo, seeing the dollar signs, I've gone and created my own logo for Shoprite, as can be see below:


Here To Feed Them? No Silly, YOU!

Let's see:

1) Ultra trendy minimalist design? Check
2) Soft alteration of their current corporate colours? Check.
3) Silly little payoff line which actually means nothing to consumers? Check.

I've sent this off to Shoprite head office, and eagerly await my cheque.



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