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26 November, 2007
An Open Letter To Pick 'n Pay And Their Rude Staff
As Shaun Gets Hot Under The Collar

Pick n Pay - Receiving A Letter From Shaun
Dear Pick 'n Pay Gardens,
First off - you will have noticed that I've included the apostrophe
in your name as, well, it's the correct thing to do. But I'm not
really going to go into that again, as it's already
been covered.
When I'm shopping and purchasing items, I generally like to know
where I'm going.
Peanut butter? That would be aisle seven.
Extra large condoms? Ah, aisle ten.
When I DON'T know where an item may be, I don't believe in walking
around aimlessly in the hope of stumbling across it.
Some people may enjoy this, like nomads and people who enjoy travelling,
but I don't. Time is money, and I have better things to do than
spend my Sundays exploring the vast outer reaches of your store.
Thus, I would ask one of your staff members, with
the reasonable expectation that they could tell me where to find
the item in question, as they DO in fact work there after all.
To then be told by a staff member that the yellow gloves I want
is "over there", as she points vaguely to her left, does
not really help me.
Yes, thank you for telling me that the gloves are in the East somewhere
- that's really answered my question, seriously, thank you.
You know what else lies East?
Port Elizabeth, and the Addo Elephant Park. Now
I'm not really in the mood to travel to Port Elizabeth, and I'm
not really a big fan of elephants either, so could you just tell
me EXACTLY where I may find my f**king yellow gloves?
Thanks, hope it's not too much trouble?
On a related matter, there is of course nothing I like more than
standing at the Mediterranean counter for five minutes without anyone
coming to assist me.
It's basically what I live for on a Sunday.
When I do eventually manage to grab the attention of a staff member
behind the counter (who looks annoyed that I have rudely interrupted
her conversation) I am then told dismissively that I have to dish
the basil pesto myself.
All well and good my dear, but I seemed to have left my dishing
spoon in my OTHER handbag. It would be great if you could actually
then provide me with a spoon to dish up or should
I just use my hand?
No?
Maybe my shoe then? Would you seriously like me to dish up basil
pesto with my shoe?
Alright, so how about that spoon then my dear. Thanks, you're too
kind.
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