Randomly Rambling

Greetings and salutations - yes, it's been a quiet few days, but my return was inevitable, like a giant grey pigeon kakking on your newly washed car. The one that you took to the car wash for a Super Valet service, because it was starting to smell of raw onion, mixed with the faint odour of sex wee. Why did it smell like that? You of course weren't sure, but you suspect it was your drunk friend that Saturday night at FTV, who asked for your car keys to "put away his sports coat" and then disappeared for 35 minutes with that blonde flossie. (floozie)

It's Thursday evening here at The HQ, and the Jameson is going down like a charm right now. Not those cheap charms you may find at a stall in Green Point, but one of those expensive ones that old women with foreign accents try and sell to you in Kalk Bay. As everyone knows, Thursday evenings are Jameson evenings, it was recently gazetted and is now a provincial bylaw. Being a first class citizen, I am thus doing my bit for civil society.


It's Thursday. It's a Jameson Day.

Whilst we all love a stiff Jameson, I also want to take this opportunity to highlight another favourite of ours. Fish Eagle Brandy is starting to work on our emotions, like a flaming red head who you keep seeing on the beach, and then see at Tiger Tiger in Claremont on a Thursday, where she buys you a shooter from across the bar, but you're too afraid to chat to her because she's, well, a flaming red head, and you're game isn't quite equipped to handle those kinds of women.

The Brand Ambassador has successfully managed to turn me over to this particular brand of brandy which is no mean feat as brandy always had negative connotations, deriving from the days in the early noughties (circa 2001) when - as broke students - myself, The Gupster and Barry (the Token Black Guy) would rule Stones in Claremont with an iron first, consuming vast amounts of brandy and cokes and sleeping with thousands of women.

Well, at least The Gupster did.

Barry (the Token Black Guy) and myself tended to just watch in awe as Cape Town's Fifth Most Eligible Bachelor cast his huge shadow over us, so we just tended to chat up girls, try some heavy petting at the bar and then watch sadly as he took them away from us.


Cape Town's Fifth Most Eligible Bachelor - Always Taking Them Away From Us.

What was I saying now? ....Just give me a few minutes to read through this quickly....

Yes, as I was saying, we have now become fond of the Fish Eagle Brandy which, if mixed correctly with the right amount of ginger ale, goes down a helluva treat.

It also doesn't leave you feeling like Ghandi's flip flops the next morning, which is always a good thing because NO ONE want to feel like Ghandi's flip flops, because boy that guy could WALK. He loved to walk, did that Ghandi fellow.

Shit, this is so horrible, I'm signing off now.



[ | ]

Did you enjoy this post? Of course you did! Now join my growing army of subscribers and get free updates in your Inbox whenever I write something breathtakingly new. Become cool by association and get ShaunOakes.com in your Inbox.