Saigon Restaurant

"Saigon" was the name of an old movie which had a "2-21" age restriction on it, so you knew it had to be good. As a young spritely lad of 8 or 9, I remember spiking my parents drinks with copious amounts of Grandpa, sneaking into their bedroom and watching the R-rated flick, which had some sort of military story if memory serves, although the strongest memory I have is obviously the gratuitous nudity, and the severe beating my mom gave me when she woke up 3 days later.

So it was with this feel-good nostalgia, that we dined at Saigon in Kloof Street. The venue is large and spacious, letting you chat among your dinner party without the risk of any pesky eavesdroppers - something I value as I am often guilty of blurting out government secrets and blatant slanderous lies after an ale or two.

I'm not sure whether the food is Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese or Chinese - I can't remember and I'm too tired to look it up now. Let's just go with the safe route and say that it's Asian. Not Indian or Pakistan Asian though.

Okay, so the food is Asian, reflected by the decor, and the waitrons are all dressed in traditional Asian garb, (Think "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon") looking as they they could easily rip your heart out with the Eagle's Claw technique if you're unhappy with their service. We were certainly mindful of not annoying our waitress, who probably leaned on the side of over-helpfulness, at one stage even explaining to The Girlfriend how to eat a spring roll.

The complicated concept of eating has often baffled me though and so I watched and listened intently, finally realising what I'd been forgetting all these years (ie: chewing) and so settled down to sushi, which is raw fish which the Japanese eat because they are too lazy to fry.

Our waitress spoke in an incredibly high-pitched tone, sounding the way I did before my voice broke 18 months ago. Her pitch seemed to get higher and higher as the evening progressed, shattering my spectacles during the starters, and causing my brain to begin hemorrhaging during the main course. Eventually her voice couldn't be heard by a human ear, and so I had to get my favourite canine friend Mr Biggles on the line to translate for us, which he duly did even though he was chilling with his mates at a nearby kennel.

Everyone agreed that the food was really good and all in all it was a very enjoyable dining experience. Getting into the whole sushi thing, the next day I tried wrapping raw snoek in a lettuce leaf, but it didn't quite have the same taste, so it's something I'm going to have to work on.

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