Shaun Has A Meal There And Goes, “Meh”.

Sinns In Wembley Square, Cape Town.

It was a tepid Friday night at The HQ, and I was scavenging around, desperately looking for food. The fridge was a definite no go area - the bowl of tuna pasta was old enough to be my mother, and the slice of pizza at the bottom shelf was actually waving at me, asking me where the party would be that evening.

I didn’t know where the party would be that evening, but I did know where Sinns Restaurant was, and so The Girlfriend and I ventured forth to Wembley Square in Gardens, for what we hoped would be an evening filled with gastronomical delight.

Sinns is what one may call a “trendy spot”. The location is certainly superb, on the ground floor of Wembley Square, opposite that sushi place that everyone loves, and S-Bar, which is actually Sinns bar.

S-Bar was understandably packed - full of beautiful, hip, upwardly mobile people - with a sprinkling of ugly, hip upwardly mobile people. And one distinctly immobile person, who looked like she would need an oversized crane to help her off that ottoman.

Sinns on the other hand, was relatively quiet, which was rather disconcerting for a Friday night. I remember trying to make a reservation some time last year, phoning on the Friday afternoon hoping to make it for that evening.

The hostess at the time, laughed her tits off at the thought, and I ended up at McDonalds instead. This time round though, it was actually possible to stroll in without a reservation and get a table.

In terms of the food, The Girlfriend yearned for the duck, whilst I settled for the line fish, which was Silverfish. Both dishes came with a side order of fresh vegetables, which consisted of broccoli, pumpkin, carrots and a horrible beetroot mix.

The food was… adequate, certainly not horrible, but not exactly spectacular either. Bland is probably the word I would use to best describe it. The chef is obviously trying out some creative concoctions - my fish was on top of a bed of cream spinach, surrounded by crisp strips of bacon - but it just didn’t quite come off.

The Girlfriend felt the same way about her duck, and we were both left feeling that something was missing. The food lacks that X-factor, that thing that makes you say, “Shit, that’s helluva tasty” and gives you a semi erection at the thought of it, days after, when you’re lying on your leather four-seater eating toast.

A redeeming feature was the dessert though, a rich chocolate cheese cake surrounded by fresh fruit and creamy ice cream. That was something which certainly met my expectations, leaving me with a warm chubbiness in my loins for days after.

In summary, Sinns was like the new Linkin Park album, very well packaged and marketed, until you actually play it on your iPod and realise that there’s only one good track worth listening to.

Slightly underwhelming, let’s try harder next time, shall we?

What: Sinns
Where: Wembley Square, Gardens
How Much: + - R180 per person. (Give or take a stiff Jameson or two)