12 February, 2008
Guys, Let's Be Honest Here - We Don't Look Good
In Skinny Jeans.
Especially You Over There. Yes I'm Talking
To You, Cut That Shit Out.
It was Tuesday, and to celebrate it, The Girlfriend and I decided
to exchange gifts. I got her a box of glass tumblers,
as she had been moaning for months about having to make guests drink
water straight from the tap, whilst she in turn gave me a pair of
grey skinny jeans.
This obviously didn't sit well with me, as there are very few things
I hate more than skinny jeans, especially grey ones.
"Why would you buy me this?", I demanded, and hurled it
back at her in an ungrateful manner. This obviously didn't sit well
with The Girlfriend - she hates it when I hurl things, as I throw
like a girl - and a domestic row soon began. Unfortunately,
I AGAIN underestimated how strong she is for such a petite woman,
and she soon had me in a vicious full
nelson neck hold, refusing to break it until I had apologised
for my outburst, given her my pin number, and eaten the week-old
chicken in the fridge.
Once I had finished throwing up, and taken my medication for the
salmonella poisoning, I sat down and stared at my latest piece of
clothing attire, trying to fathom the attraction these pants seem
Why HAVE skinny jeans become so popular these days? Isn't it meant
Skinny Jeans - Meant For Women?
As a red-blooded male, I can't think of anything worse than wearing
skin-tight denim, which merely serves to highlight your chicken
legs, as well as your overly large feet. Also,
isn't it tight on the package? How uncomfortable must THAT be?
Skinny Jeans - How Uncomfortable Must THAT Be?
Clearly it must be, as the latest trend is for guys to wear it really
low, basically hanging around their ankles. What's
this? Are the Orange Organics auditioning for a new member? Is it
Pugwall's turn to make an ironically fashionable comeback?
No, it's not quite time yet.
Guys, let's nip this skinny jeans thing in the bud. It's embarrassing,
and makes my tummy feel funny.
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